Pandas! You see this above photo right here? This photo represents my demise as a sane human being. This stupid sign has ruled over me ever since I moved to Muswell Hill. Look at it, standing all high and mighty like a dictator, suppressing my very being with his square demeanour. He’s taunting me as we speak. Actually, he’s practically giving me the middle finger. Every morning me and this dick, square each other down (see what I did there!) for an epic western battle of Clint Eastwood sized proportions. And every evening our battle for middle earth continues without skipping a beat. Quite frankly me and this douche need to sort it out quick because as far as I’m concerned it’s only a matter of time before I really start to lose my marbles. Yeah, contrary to what you might believe as you’re reading this, I am not cuckoo’s nest crazy yet. But I mean the sands of the hour glass are dwindling down to a finite little mound. So I need to sort my shit out fucking ASAP!