Weekday Photo Journal: Murals and Wallpaper Galore

murals and wallpaper

This is how I know I’m a grown up (on certain occasions) when I start getting excited about interior design, architecture, home decor and baking. Now I know what you’re thinking… How can walls get me all hot and bothered. Well, simply put, these are no ordinary walls. These are statements of fantasy and whimsical mastery. Imagine coming home from the harsh bustling city that’s chewed you up and spit you out to find an oasis of wonder, where dreams can be cultivated. I like the thought of that. I like the idea of coming home to your own little sanctuary. A place where you feel like you’ve harnessed the Zen power of the ancient world.  Anyway, I think these murals and wallpaper inspirations do just that.

You might think some are way over the top but that’s why I’ve chosen them. To give inspiration to those who are in need of a change; whether it be big or small. So without further ado, may I present the wonderful world of walls…

❤ ❤ ❤

PS- You can find all the details for each image on my Pinterest board here.

 

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Weekend Photo Journal: Everything Copper

Copper

My oh my! Copper is fabulous isn’t it?! I’m obsessed with it! If I had all the money in the world (ok enough to make me comfortable) then I would buy lots of copper! Copper for my home, copper for nail polish, copper for make-up, copper for food…. too much? Well, you get the idea. Accented copper decor in the home can really make any room pop.

I won’t keep you waiting. Here’s everything you could dream of for copper inspiration…

❤ ❤ ❤

By the way if you want all the info on each photo then scroll down to the bottom and click on the link that will connect you to my Pinterest board on Copper.

Pinterest Board: Copper Inspiration

Weekend Photo Journal: Marbleous

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Ok pandas, it’s that time again! This week I decided to start stepping away from summer. Sad as it is, it’s almost the end of August! Ahhh…how I’ll miss it so. Anyway this weekend’s photo journal is everything on MARBLE! I’m not going to lie I’m slightly obsessed. Well, with that and copper, which will be next weekend’s photo journal.

So…. without further ado, may I present everything marble!

 

For all the details of each photo, see my Pinterest Board: Marvellous marble.

Weekend Photo Journal: Mmm, Minty Green

Minty Green

There’s something about certain colours isn’t there? For me… mint green is one of those colours. Just like royal blue and emerald green. They are delicious. I chose mint this weekend because it’s still summer, in most countries. It’s supposed to be summer in the UK but I don’t think bouts of sun here and there counts as summer.

Anyway, without further ado….Here’s some mint green inspiration.

For all the details/credits please see my pinterest board Minty Green.

 

 

 

 

When You Realise That Your Emotions Haven’t Completely Shrivelled up and died….

Love, Feelings, Emotions,

Pandas, I am officially back. Well, to be honest I came back late last Thursday night but I was not mentally prepared to start my brain until today. Yes, it took me a week. I have been a walking blob ever since I arrived in London. For those of you who don’t know where I went, it was to Cyprus, which is in the Mediterranean. My parents and other family members (from my dad’s side) live there. This was the first time in years that I decided to spend Christmas over there. To be completely honest, I have not been a fan of that country for a while now. And that was mainly because it held a very important reminder for me every time I stepped my pudgy foot back on its soil. A painful reminder of unrequited love. Or more to the point, a fake love that left me barren of any kind of emotions whatsoever. He stole them from me. Like a thief of an elaborate and unexplainable heist. Broken and tarnished, I left my country. I left because my greatest drive was to move back to London. If I didn’t have that ambition then I know I definitely would not have been here right now talking to you guys.

When I think about my love life from the past (almost) 4 years since I’ve left Cyprus, it has been quite a nonexistent affair. Penises have come and gone. Yet feelings haven’t been exchanged, nor did the stirring of emotions commence. For a while I didn’t question it. I puttered along without a care. But then I started to wonder if he who must not be named, broke me for good. I never felt anything. I would tell the one friend who actually cared to listen that something must have died. That my va-jay-jay closed up shop to reevaluate the meaning of her existence. Because let’s face it, she was not fulfilling some of her job requirements. There was simply no use for her. I was convinced that she had shrivelled up and died along with my heart. To the rest, I would of course pretend that all was fine. Only adding that I didn’t want anyone in my life. That I was happy being the hermit that I am. Which was partly true.

So after all this time had passed I just assumed that my notion of being a miserable, cold-hearted, no-feeling, unemotional, crude, lonely bitch was true and that there was no cure. Not even maybe a reversal process that I could try out.  So with that, I left for Cyprus thinking that this was how I was going to see in the new year. A controlled ball of chaos.

As I stepped off the plane into the country of my high school days, something felt different. I didn’t feel dread this time round. On previous occasions I would get nervous that I would bump into people. The kind of people who talk and gossip. But this time I felt more at peace. Maybe I was just happy leaving London for a bit, who knew.

I met up with one of my besties who would take me out to great restaurants, coffee places where we would talk about life, giggle and enjoy each others company. I started to relax more. I remembered what it felt like to have friends around. I began to feel at ease. So when she decided for me that I would come to her house gathering I said of course without getting stressed about how I looked. And on that night, because my guard was down and I was laughing and having a good time, I happened to meet someone and we ended up kissing. It was the first time in many years where the act of kissing felt normal. It felt like this person meant it. It wasn’t a fleeting moment in the hopes that his attempts would advance into my panties. It was a shared intimate moment between two unknown souls. In that moment I felt wanted, not invisible and pretty. I didn’t worry about how I looked, or my flaws or any other insecurities that I might have. I was present in that moment and that moment alone.

In what felt like an alternate universe, something stirred within me. For the first time in a long time, my insides started to unthaw and that’s when I realised that I wasn’t such a lost cause anymore. There was still life in me yet. Most likely nothing will come out of that shared moment. But I am thankful that someone revived me even if only for a short while. It was definitely nice to remember what a genuinely sincere stolen moment felt like. I don’t expect miracles after that one encounter but for a person who has been convinced that she was broken it was a nice change of pace.

As the night came to an end, we went our separate ways but not before one final connection. And with that we got into our cars and drove off.

 

❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

Having The Flu Made Me Realise I Miss Certain Things From Being In a Relationship

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This realisation was a pretty painful one to admit to after sitting and contemplating it for a while. Reason being, I like being on my own. I like not having to answer to anyone, I like sleeping in the middle of my double-size bed and #sorryNotsorry, but I like not sharing. In fact, I like relying only on myself. And to top things off, you might gasp but, I actually really love being alone all the time. So when this bastard of a flu came around one day, I found myself hallucinating about soup being brought to me on a cloud of kisses, amongst other things. And that’s when it hit me, in between shivering and throwing up, I missed the comfort one brings when they take care of you. The strength that they pass on and the love that oozes out from their pores is a wondrous blanket that engulfs you. You feel safe… secure in a little cocoon.

As I struggled to get myself dressed so I could get some flu supplies (food, water, Vicks, a gun) I actually cursed my life at that moment. Muffled swears and moans were the only things that soothed me. Why couldn’t I have found someone who would do these things for me? Go out to the store, put on my favourite movie, say they love me? Instead, I had these two assholes for company and cuddles.

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Would ya look at them! These two were it for me. Ping Pong and Pooh Face. My sidekicks who were only able to sit, stare and look cute. They were not able to make me soup, or make my laugh, or buy more tissues, or hug me back, or say that I’m going to be ok. Nope, instead, as I grabbed at the last of my attire, a scarf, they sat, motionless. Probably having naughty thoughts of the Care Bears. I wanted to cause bodily harm to them. I know that’s a bit much. I would never do it, I just thought it. I thought maybe I should just perch them on my balcony and let the wind blow them down three stories. I was in a dark place pandas…

As I closed the door and schlepped out in the windy rain I cursed my predicament. I cursed the fact that I was alone. It’s sad how one flu can render your beliefs moot. In one day, I had thrown away my stance on solitude, on strength and on independence. This virus had polluted not just my blood cells but also my mind. And as I finally made my way to the grocery store I was in such a state of misery that I hoped the gods would be kind to me and let me croak out on the cold drab floor, in between my favourite aisle, the alcohol one. I thought that if I were face up then my last glance would be to a bottle of a full bodied red. In all honesty, it wasn’t such a bad way to go. It sure beats out drowning. Unless I was drowning in red wine. Yeah, red wine. Mmmm….

Anyway, my self-pity wasn’t doing me any favours but I couldn’t snap out of it. As I picked out what items I desperately needed, I also made a list of things that I have missed by not being in a relationship.

  1. Massages
  2. Having a snuggle partner
  3. Being comfortable enough to expel some fluids while my hair is pulled out of the way.
  4. Having someone remember my pills for me.
  5. Making soup and feeding it to me, airplane style. (oh ok, I don’t need someone to feed me)
  6. Drawing a bath
  7. Reading to me
  8. Conversations to distract me
  9. Watching a  movie while my feet are being rubbed
  10. Saying I’m beautiful even when clearly, at this moment, I’m not
  11. Remembering my favourite candy and surprising me with it to cheer me up
  12. Remembering that I hate chunky slimey tomatoes and picks them out of my food
  13. Playing Etta James for me
  14. Sending a cute text or email to check up on me
  15. Any check up scenario really, even just to see how my day has gone
  16. Sharing your dreams
  17. Sharing you deepest thoughts
  18. Bonding over a great bottle of red wine
  19. Laughing with someone – the kind of laughter that makes you think you’re about to pass out because you’re taking in too much oxygen
  20. Knowing that we are a team and that if one of us is down, then the other will be there to pick up the slack
  21. Being loved

As I scanned the cheese aisle for my feta cheese I realised that what I was missing was number 21….being loved…and not by my parents. I was missing, in that vulnerable state, the act of a person who loved me. Someone who would look at this sickly, no makeup hag and say, ‘man I really lucked out’. Someone to say that they loved me even in the state that I was in. It’s funny how a little flu can make you feel sorry for your current state of affairs. It’s even more hilarious that just 48 hours prior I was spouting out a blog post centred around the theme of “Loving Yourself”. And I was going on and on about being strong and knowing your self worth and how I truly loved me, even more so now that I’m single. It’s laughable, I know. However, in my defence it was a really bad flu. I think I might have been having bouts of hallucinations as well. No seriously. (ok no.. not so seriously).

I thought I could try and snap out of it by knocking myself out with a feta cheese. But as I raised the goats’ product in my hand, I realised that it would have been a waste. So, I paid for my items and walked the lonely walk home. Rain in my face, unable to hold the umbrella because I did not have three hands and coughing all the way around the corner and down my street.

FYI: I am writing this about five days after my flu died down. I needed to be a sane human being after all. If I had wrote this post on the day I went to the grocery store then, some of you would have been reporting me to the loony bin, in an American Horror Story kind of way. So I waited, calmed myself and now I am reverting to my original mantras. You know the ones where I say that I am not perfect. And there will be days that I will reflect and share things of what I’m going through. It doesn’t make me crazy, it just makes me an imperfect human being. A human being who for three days felt sorry for herself, where the loneliness was excruciatingly palpable. That’s all. I still miss some parts of being in a relationship, just not enough to actually be in one at the moment. Besides I am not ready to share my bed or my food.

❤ ❤ ❤

Quote of The Day: The Comfort of Feeling Safe With Someone

Comfort: Quote of the day

My dear fluffy pandas, this is going to be a super quick post today. And because of the swiftness, I thought I would leave you with a good quote (Featured image).

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My thought when I read this is that I miss the intimacies of being in a relationship sometimes. The understanding between two people. The downright psychic powers you possess in knowing what your partner is doing and what each personality trait means no matter how much of a micro-expression it is.

And like this quote says, it’s comfort. You are at ease. No guards have been raised. No walls have been built. You are 100% trusting the person you are with and know without a shadow of a doubt that you can say and do things that show the real you. The true you. Ah, it genuinely is a wonderful feeling to be comfortable with someone. And boy do I miss that solid ground sometimes. All this questioning and dating malarky gets stressful. All you couples out there have no clue what us singles are going through on a daily basis. You guys are comfy and loved up, without a care in the world. While you’re doing lovey-dovey telepathy with one another, us singletons are screaming off the top of our lungs to be heard. So to be honest you couples disgust me. Yeah I said it! Look at you being all comfy. Sitting on a comfy throne being all loved up. Okay, okay, I’m done.

Oh who knows, maybe one day when I stop being so suspicious of men’s intentions I might appreciate the simplicity that comfort would bring. Until then, I will reminisce fondly from afar.

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