Everything you Need to Know About Managing IBS

ibs, treating, managing, solving,

My little pandas, I have been one busy researcher who’s been battling IBS (irritable bowel Syndrome) like a ninja with one leg since May. Hence me neglecting my blog, for which I’m sorry for!

When this chaos first hit me, I thought it came out of the blue, but a whole lot of analysis later, I realised that I should have seen the signs. Then again, how can one see the signs if you don’t know what you’re looking for? Either way, this problem came into my life like a tsunami and it hasn’t gone anywhere 8 months later. After the NHS (the free health service here in the UK) failed me severely (for the second time might I add) I decided to take matters into my own hands. But my journey was not an easy one. In fact I was at breaking point on many occasions. This has tested me mentally, physically and emotionally.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome, for those who haven’t had the pleasure, affects your intestines. It’s when bad bacteria runs rampant and causes mayhem in your gut. A lot of factors deplete good bacteria. Antibiotics is a major one along with any food intolerances you might have. You will be hit with stomach pains and/or/both cramps, constipation, diarrhea, excessive wind, bloating, urgent need to constantly go to the bathroom, lack of energy, back pain, and feeling sick.

IBS symptoms

Can you imagine feeling all of that? For me it was so often that I developed a phobia of not wanting to leave my house. The thought of commuting to work every day on the underground literally made me have panic attacks and anxiety. My greatest fear was that I would shit my pants, and that fear was debilitating. Every time I would leave the house I had to plan exit strategies that were closest to the nearest  bathroom. Even going around the corner to the supermarket was an extremely difficult task to complete. The constant feeling of going to the bathroom is horrendous. For me, this severe IBS took away my life. I had to cancel outings with friends, my weekends consisted of me staying cooped up at home, yet the most scariest was that I thought I was going to lose my job. Not to mention taking Ubers to and from work because I just couldn’t walk the whole commute. I’m broke now by the way.

When I would try and explain it to my close friends I was met with the typical response of ‘oh that’s terrible’ but I didn’t get any real support. Because they just didn’t get it. But if I’m honest, I expected more from them. A lot more! My mom on the other hand suggested that I should just buy adult diapers and be done with it. I know, what a humorous woman. Ha…. ha…. ha…..

The NHS doesn’t see IBS as a life-altering issue and therefore don’t do anything. One doctor told me this might last for a year, another said 6 months, AND they didn’t refer me to a Gastroenterologist until 3 weeks ago for which I am still waiting for an appointment. They also threw two pieces of paper at me that were supposed to be a helpful description of what a Low- FODMAP diet is but it was very vague. However, the icing on the cake was that they didn’t even suggest that I take probiotics! Woooosssaaahhh!

I was lost, with no real support. I was so depressed that I signed myself up to see a therapist (which was also free) but now 5 sessions in I’m convinced the whole system here is just churning out patients without really taking the time to care for them. If anything, I want my doctors to be empathetic and tell me with military precision, ‘You need to take this, this and this!’ They should have said ‘Well, you’ve taken a lot of antibiotics throughout the last year and a half ( which was due to a kidney infection that they failed to see, resulting in me running to A&E and staying in the hospital for 2 days thinking I was going to die) and that strips away all the good bacteria in your gut.’ Instead, I was left with no real answers. When the symptoms came back in full force about 3 weeks ago after eating a couple of gluten free croissants (I should have read the shitty label) I decided that this fucking IBS was not going to win! I would take control. If the doctors wouldn’t help me, then I would help myself.

So without further ado, here’s everything you need to know: (I think I’ve done enough complaining for one post don’t you think?!  🙃)

1. You should know that IBS can be triggered from food intolerances that you didn’t even know you had. These are not like full blown allergies, so don’t worry! If they were, you would definitely know it! Before this hit me, I used to eat everything. And I never even thought I could have a specific food intolerance to something. But low and behold, I did. I would have never even thought about this if it hadn’t been for a discussion that I had at a friend’s house. They referred me to Allergy test London which is where I found out that I should steer clear of beef, lamb, anything cow and sheep related, apples, corn (maize), whey, wheat, beer, lager, eggs (strangely, I can have the whites and the yolks separate) MSG, wasabi, tea, and something else but for the life of me I can’t remember.

2. The Low-Fodmap diet is a must I’m afraid. I don’t care what you read, it is the shittest diet known to man. It basically eliminates all the foods that could possibly exacerbate your IBS condition even more. After months of dreading to eat, (and I loooovvvveeeee food) I am now at a place where this diet is tolerable. I’ve accepted it through gritted teeth.

IBS, Low Fodmap, diet

This list isn’t an exact science, so beware. Even though it says that these foods/beverages should be ok it really depends on your body. You will have to eliminate everything and go from there. For me, my diet was at a bare minimum yet I was still drinking a decaf cappuccino with almond milk every day. I was still feeling ill, and so I decided to cut out the decaf coffee all together. And what do you know, I started to feel better. I also limit fruit to bananas and some strawberries. The reason being is that sugar ferments in your IBS ridden intestines and gives birth to new bad bacteria. In the beginning I was craving sweets. Which I thought was odd because I am not a sweet person. And this is because of IBS, you get cravings for sweets, so try and resist it!

3. PROBIOTICS IS A MUST!!!!!!!! I can’t stress this enough. It is so important. The three that I have tried are…


Symprove, IBS,

I started off with Symprove for 3 weeks back in July. It helped in the beginning but then I never got any better.

Optibac – Extra Strength and Saccharomyces Boulardii

For me these two helped tremendously. My personal opinion is that you should take these two together. And before you ask, ‘Can you overdose on probiotics?’ the answer is, NO! We have trillions of bacteria in our gut. So you can never go wrong with taking enough probiotics.

Before I continue down the list here is a photo of everything that I take…



IBS, L-glutamine, Vitamin A

4. Out of all the research that I did I came across one reoccurring note, that L-Glutamine is the mother of all holy grails for IBS suffers. Now, I can’t give the full stamp of approval, however, after 3 days of taking this I almost feel somewhat normal. Just to put this into perspective for you… it is now 3:36pm here in London and I haven’t had to go number 2! For all you IBS suffers out there I know you know how thrilling that sounds!

Here are some benefits of L-Glutamine…

IBS, L-glutamine


5. Invest in Digestive Enzymes. They help break down your food in order to help your body absorb the nutrients more efficiently. Therefore when your gut is out of whack it is a good idea to aid it with these.

6. I have also been taking Olive Leaf Extract as well as Turmeric. Both aid your system immensely. Here are some of the benefits for both…

7. Vitamin A also supports your Immune system. Here are some of the benefits of this Vitamin…


Now, Why am I telling you that you have to keep boosting your immune system while battling IBS? Well, did you know that over 70% of your immune system is located in your gut? No, neither did I. And since my gut was battling for it’s life I figured my immune system could do with a boost.

8. Kefir is also very good for your gut, because it’s a probiotic. I wasn’t too sure about cow or sheep kefir since my body is pooh poohing both of those things so I found two alternatives…

Kefir, coconut, goat

Coconut and Goat Kefir

I am not a fan of the taste, but at this point I would drink piss if they told me that it would help my gut.

9. Now this one is a interesting one. Apparently they are now saying that IBS can be caused due to a Vitamin D deficiency! And because of this I have also started taking a vitamin D pill. It’s not a high dosage because I also take a multi-vitamin every day.

Benefits of Vitamin D

10. Stress is another factor that causes havoc to your system. This one though is tough because if any of you know what it’s like to battle with severe IBS you know that stress will sky-rocket. You are stressed to leave the house, you are stressed finding a bathroom, you are stressed from the morning you wake up till the moment you close your eyes. So I have tried meditation. I take 10 minutes out of my day to just relax. I have tried the Headspace, Digipill and calm apps. All of which are good, however I don’t really feel like giving them around £10 ($12)  a month. I was also thinking about taking up yoga.

11. SLEEP!!! Sometimes this is easier said than done. Especially when you’re not feeling well. But try and get as much sleep as possible. I am trying these Sleep patch-it things that you adhere to the bottom of your feet. And I don’t know if it’s acting like a placebo or actually really calming me but I have noticed that I have been sleeping more soundly. And when I wake up I’m more refreshed. Again, I’m not too sure about this one. But, like I said, I will try anything!

sleep, patch-it

12. Omega 3’s are another source of help for your IBS. I haven’t taken any as of yet but will let you know if I do.

Other tidbits:

  • If you are on antibiotics you must, must, must take probiotics.  Optibac have a good one that’s called ‘For those on antibiotics.’  A couple of years ago I suffered from a kidney infection which the doctors failed to see. They chucked me out and said it was probably a flu bug that was going around. But when I couldn’t even keep water down, I knew I had to rush to the A&E who told me that I had to stay for two days in the hospital. Because of that they started me on antibiotics. And throughout the 2 years that would follow antibiotics were coming and going through my system. The last dose I took was this February and I got hit with this whole IBS thing in May.
  • Eat healthy foods. Stay away from sugars and complex carbs.
  • Stop with all the alcohol.
  • Stop caffeine.
  • Listen to your body, because you know it the best! If the doctors are insisting that it’s a bug, be adamant that it’s not. You know how your body feels when you have the flu and tummy bugs. Insist that the doctors run blood and stool tests to eliminate things like Celiac and Crohn’s disease, Inflammatory bowels, Parasite or any other anomalies.

Phew! This was a long post wasn’t it! I was desperate to write this because I know that there are others out there pulling out their hair in despair dealing with IBS. It isn’t a fun thing to go through and I just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone.

These herbal supplements won’t fix IBS overnight. You will have to be patient and strict. I know that I have probably another 6 months of all this stuff. But if I’m feeling better even in this short amount of time then I at least have hope for the future. And that is a big thing to have, for which I’m truly grateful for.

Here are some links that I was looking at through my researching frenzy.

Dr. Hyman

Dr. Axe

Help for IBS

How to treat IBS naturally – Super Naturally Healthy blog

At last a home remedy for IBS that gives proven results

Lastly, please consult a specialist on which herbal pills you should take along with the dosages. If I had to choose just 3 things to help my IBS, it would be the probiotics, L-Glutamine and Olive leaf extract, along with the Low-FODMAP diet.

Let me know if any of you are finding luck with any of these or if you’ve found something else that might be helpful.

❤ ❤ ❤

On a slightly different tangent, I just wanted to give a shout-out to my local  pharmacy Panacea Health & Beauty, because if it wasn’t for those lovely ladies I don’t know where I’d be right now. One of the ladies, started me on symprove probiotics and I thought she was an angel sent down from heaven just for me. I later went back and wrote down everything that I was going to take and another lady told me what else I should get because she too also suffered from IBS and was able to cure it through these natural remedies. I can’t stress this enough, that pharmacy and especially the ladies who were so wonderful and extremely knowledgeable helped me tremendously.

Best pharmacy ever



When Your Love Affair With Food Has Come To An End…


‘Food glorious foooooood!’…. is what I want to sing from the top of my lungs whenever I discuss such a scrumptious topic. I’m not going to lie, I love food. It brings you together with friends, you feel the love that was made with it while sitting around the dinner table with family, and let’s not forget the feelings of euphoria that run wild after you’ve finally satiated your haaanger. I mean, what’s not to love about food! Well, after so many years of having the best love affair of my life, it would seem it has come to an end. At least for the time being. My lover, has betrayed me, and my stomach and gut are now paying the price.

Yesterday was a very lazy Sunday for me and I decided to watch the movie “Chocolat”. However, it wasn’t the best of choices with what I’m going through. While watching it I started drooling at all the mouth-watering deliciousness that was on display. You see my fluffy pandas I was torturing myself. It was a cruel and unusual way to go but I did it nonetheless. I sat there wishing I could have every magical morsel that presented itself on my screen. The funny thing is, I’m not a sweets person. Savoury is my thing. Like lasagna, pesto sauce with penne pasta, Greek dips, roast chicken with all the trimmings, pizza, a Patty & Bun Chicken Burger,  Chilli cheese fries, warm fat pretzels, this Rosemary & potato sourdough bread from Gail’s. I mean I could carry on but I will spare you. Anyway, while watching the movie I seemed to be serenading the TV forcefully, almost as if I were pleading with a long lost ex to take me back. And then I screeched “Why have you cursed me?!” towards the heavens. “WHYYYYYYYY?!!” As I looked back at my screen it was just in time to see Dame Judi Dench seductively sip the silky thick  hot chocolate. Her expression after that was of pure euphoria. The kind you would get after a great orgasm. (Yeah, I went there). There she was, stupid Judi and her stupid happy expression. All I could do was yell “CURSE YOU BAD JOO JOOS! Curse….. you!”  as I raised my fists in the air.

Ok..ok….my melodrama is over. I swear. Oh one last thing… I also watched Julie & Julia. I know, I know! Food movies back to back.

You see, as some of you know, for the past 10 weeks I have not been feeling well. The doctors ran tests and nothing really came up. They said that it could be IBS but they didn’t want to say for sure. The first 4 weeks were the most miserable of my life. I had to take an Uber to and from work just so I wouldn’t have an anxiety attack in an underground tin-can as I shit on myself profusely. There were days where my internal pep talks consisted of… “You can do this. You will not shit your pants. You own your poop, not the other way round! Just go out the front door. Good. Now walk down the stairs. You’re doing it. You see, everything will be fine. Start walking to the bus. You got this Ali! You are one tough cookie. You…. oh shit. RUN! RUN BACK HOME! RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE! CLENCH CLENCH CLENCH!” And then I would slam the door to my apartment, start sobbing and ultimately feel really sorry for myself. This was the cycle. My life… for weeks.

The doctors were not that helpful. They said most of the time they don’t usually refer patients unless the symptoms persist for at least 6 months. A big HELL NO to that one. The only suggestion that they made was for me to go on a Low-FODMAP diet for the next two weeks. And with a shitty little leaflet, that didn’t explain what I should or shouldn’t eat, I left. My heart grew heavy and I decided after my umpteenth visit to the docs to walk into this posh pharmacy and plead with them to give me a miracle. And guess what? They actually did! Their suggestion was a probiotic liquid called Symprove. Within 2 days I felt almost back to normal. At the same time however, I did switch to the Low-FODMAP diet. So both have helped tremendously. But I really think the Symprove was the key. There was one slip up with a spelt grain pasta (which I thought I could have) and had to call in sick the next day. But apart from that I have been feeling at 90%. Which is a drastic improvement. But alas, even despite my positive outcome, with every passing day I start to loath food at little bit more. And that’s because of the diet I’ve been put on.

Here’s what I can have….


Unfortunately, I had to say ‘see ya later’ to my two favourite ingredients, garlic and onions. How the hell does one cook without these two things?! My breads and pastas, unless they were gluten-free, were out of the question. Avocados and asparagus which I both adore, I can’t have. The list above says I can have 1/4 avocado but others say I shouldn’t. Hence, I leave it out. So, I was stuck with rice and rice cakes. Who the hell likes rice cakes by the way? It’s what I imagine eating cardboard would taste like. Every time I eat one I have to lather it with almond butter but, guess what?! N0w I can’t lather. Therefore, I’m officially screwed. Luckily I can eat plain meat, fish, and chicken so that’s something I guess.

All in all this diet has forced me to rethink how I eat. It’s forced me to look at my meals with a shoulder shrug of whatever. I have no desire anymore when I sit down to eat and that’s the part that’s killing me. I used to love going home after work and making something fun. But the thing that has nudge the dagger in a little deeper is the fact that I can’t bake anymore. I will have to work with Rice/corn flour and buy gluten free baking soda. I mean, woe is me right?!

Don’t worry, I’m not that depressed. But I am disappointed. When it comes to my health I take things very seriously therefore I’m following the Low-Fodmap diet to a tee! I know how important your health is and to always make sure it comes first. But in the process I have lost my love. And my love, has ripped open my heart and filled it with emptiness. I’m onto my third week now and food has never looked so dissatisfying. Yet, I know that I must grin and bear it. I’m not listening to the doctors suggestion of two weeks because everyone else is saying I have to be on this for at least a couple of months. And I like to be thorough. However the thing that’s really driving me? Is not repeating the shits any time soon. I will soldier on even though my permanent expression nowadays is the stank face of misery. I will endure, I will conquer! I sound like I’m going to war don’t I?! Lord I’ve got mental issues. By the way I would like to add that I would prefer coddling myself with two bottles of wine. But you guessed it…. I CAN’T!! Wooooooossssaaaaaahhhhh!

And so with all that being said…. my love affair has ended. The comfort has gone. The desire and passion has disintegrated. And slowly its embrace will be a very distant memory.

This was my ode, my lament to food. Oh how I’ll miss you. You never judged me. You were a soothing reassurance that everything was going to be alright.

Oh woe is me….

❤ ❤ ❤

PS- I will do a dedicated post on the Low-FODMAP diet along with two great books you should buy. Don’t worry, I won’t be complaining in that one! 🙂

10 Little Quotes To Help Keep Your Positivity Going….


Oh pandas… it’s another week. How did that happen already?! Since it’s Monday, it’s therefore supposed to be the restart, re-energise, re-diet, re-motivation, re-something of the week. It’s the day where most, if not all of us, use as a fresh start. Right? I know I’m not the only one. However today, for me, was pretty difficult. It was hard to stay positive. To get that hashtag Monday Motivation thing going. Lately, it seems that I haven’t been keeping my positivity pants on. I let it slip. And to be honest, once you let it slip, it’s hard to catch yourself before you fall back down to the very hard cold floor of negativity. The thing is, I try very hard every day to stay positive. It has helped with my panic attacks, my mind, my health and my emotions. So even though today was a hard day to get my body and mind moving, I did it nonetheless.

It is the hardest thing to be positive 24/7. It takes dedication. It takes knowing what you want out of life and knowing who to surround yourself with. It takes knowing yourself deep down to your very core. Why? Well, if you don’t know who you are and which people influence you for the better then I’m afraid you are making it even harder for yourself to succeed.

We all have our bad days, but it’s up to us to get out of that funky mood. Downsize your life so it’s clutter free. That means relationships, friendships, careers, colleagues, materialistic objects that only aid your ego and any other thing that needs to be trimmed back a bit. If relationships and friendships become unhealthy, it will not only pollute your mind, but also your soul. Get rid of anyone who does not better you creatively, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Of course, should also be doing this in return for your closest people. Give and take as they say! If your job is stressing you to oblivion and back then it’s time to figure out what you would rather have. Health problems or a new designer bag? What are you willing to give up health-wise to gain in the career department and then eventually in the money department? It’s all well and good for a short period of time. But somewhere, you will miss important connections. You will miss conversing, travelling, meaningful and hearty laughs. Don’t get me wrong! It’s important to work hard at life. And sometimes that hard work will cause stress and undesirable setbacks. However, everything in moderation. Make it a better quality of life. Strive for that. And just in case you are anything like me and have those bad days where you want to fall off the wagon so to speak, hopefully these little quotes will help you through it.

If we stick together and uplift each other, I think we would be on to something very special.

❤ ❤ ❤

  1. Remember that you are great (even if you feel like pooh)

2. Look at every day as if you could redo your mistakes of yesterday

3. Make sure to think of all the wonderful moments in your life

4. The people who we hold dear to our hearts better be worthy, because they are taking up prime real-estate

5. If it was a bad day, snap out of it quick


6. Remember to breathe


7. Don’t harbour bad feelings, grudges and/or petty disputes

8. Don’t be so strict with yourself. Let your hair down and eat some yummy sweets every now and then (if Audrey Hepburn thinks so, then it should be so!)

9. Remember to look at yourself in the mirror every day and say to yourself that you are beautiful. Because YOU ARE!

10. And above all else, remember the following…


❤ ❤ ❤

The Sobering Act of Taking Pictures of Yourself in Your Underwear…


No… Just to be clear, I wasn’t starting out in an overweight fetish industry. Nor was I trying to seduce a potential suitor. I am not interested in men for the foreseeable future and I’m not in the right country for people to appreciate a good curvy, round, plumpy woman. Unfortunately, I took photos of myself in my underwear because some loser decided that you have to possess “before” images  in order for  you to commit to a healthy fitness lifestyle. A lifestyle that you’ve been dreading to start for the last 4 weeks. Boy, I sure would like to meet the moron who came up with this idea.

Can I just say stripping down to barely nothing was a torturous affair. I mean to be completely honest, I never see myself nake. No it’s true! I hate the way I look. Nor do I weigh myself for that matter anymore. I shunned these acts. Defied even the thought of them. However, I do think it’s mainly because I become slightly obsessive with these things. If I weighed myself, I would probably end up doing it every morning. Which I’ve done in the past and let me just say that it was definitely not healthy for me, mentally. But despite all that, recently, I have acknowledged that something’s got to give. I need to start making life-changing decisions that will benefit me in the future. Plus I’m tired of people looking at me in a certain way. You know half pitying, half ‘awww she would be so pretty if she lost weight’. I’ve even had a man say that he wouldn’t be with me because of my weight. Which of course added to my insecurities. I almost melted into a black hole that day. However, let’s be clear of one thing. I do NOT want to change because others say so. I want to change because it will better my life. I already feel tired all the time. Walking up stairs is a pain in my ass, and I officially can’t see my hooo-ha anymore. Yeah I said it! Anyway, my goal is to be a sexy, curvy, healthy woman. I am not losing weight to be a skinny stick with no ass. Curves in all the right places for me please.

I’m already 32 by the way. Fuck knows where the years have gone. I swear it was just yesterday that I remembered being 30kg lighter and still complaining that I was too fat. First world problems, I know. Simply ridiculous. But now I have a serious problem and this dump truck of a body must be eliminated from my frame.

Let me tell ya something my precious pandas. If you are not prepared to take photos, or if your brain has concocted an alternate image of yourself in your head, then this will shock you back down to reality. You can sort of cover up, hide, and/or adjust your silhouette under clothes. Especially if it’s winter! But there’s nowhere your fat can go once the absence of material has been lifted. It’s slightly soul crushing to say the least. And just when you’ve sort of come to terms with how you look like from the front and side, you turn around (back facing the mirror) and that’s when you lose all hope. Obviously you check your reflection from time to time to see how your outfits look, therefore you know generally what to expect once the clothes come off. But the back of you? Umm….No. That was the harshest of realities that I had to face. The ripples of my cheeks melting into the back of my thighs was a cruel punishment to bear witness to. I really couldn’t help thinking that I resembled….


Looking at Mr. Marshmallow man (from Ghostbuster) felt like I was seeing my reflection for real. Or at least that’s what I felt like at the time. Gosh, it’s so easy to put yourself down isn’t it? When I looked back at the photos that I took that day, my soul sank. My motivation sank. The wall that I had to climb got bigger because now I saw all the damage that I did to my body. I saw every flaw, fat and lump that needed to be worked upon. So I suppose, excluding the initial reaction, it was a good motivational kick up my ass. I now look at those pictures and then look at photos of myself at a much thinner size. It not only makes me realise how much I’ve gained but pumps me up to lose it all again. Every day I look at my ripply backside and reassure myself that I will never be like this again. That I will work my heart and soul to the point of exhaustion, in order for me to become healthy again.

All in all, if you guys are trying to lose weight and are brave enough to take a photo of yourselves just as you start on your journey, it most definitely will give you the push that you’re looking for. But brace yourselves, there is a reason why all those ‘before’ photos show nothing but miserable faces. My face was on the verge of tears. But after my meltdown, you know what I did? I brushed my saddened thoughts to one side and realised that this is the start of something great. That all I had to do to cheer myself up was to envision my ‘after’ photo with a huge smile on my face.

We all need motivation to start on a difficult adventure. But I really can’t wait for that accomplished feeling at the end of it all. So pandas, go on and take those ‘before’ photos. After the initial heart-attack to the image, you will receive a defibrillator to the chest in motivation. And remember, bettering yourself is a process. We will fail, learn lessons, succeed, fail again, cry, and succeed again. Just keep at it and know that it will take a whole lot of patience and a truck load of dedication.

❤ ❤ ❤


Why Does Everything We Want To Do Have To Start On A Monday?

Monday Quotes

Hi my fluffy pandas. Today I’m going to yap on about why our brains have concocted this “start the new you” on Mondays thing. In fact, why do we always start new projects on a Monday? It’s really  a lie we’ve forced upon ourselves. You know, so as you can make excuses for how crap you’ve been doing lately. Because then you can simply say “oh, I’ll put my best foot forward on Monday.”

Like the quote says, ‘Mondays are for fresh starts’. But who invented this? I understand that it’s the most logical day to start your new changes, since it’s at the beginning of the week. But surely, aren’t we just procrastinating things a bit by doing this? All I know is, if I was truly willing to change my life around, I wouldn’t wait for Monday. I would start that day, or by the next day at the latest. Simple as.

Just so you know, I am the biggest “start on Monday” person you will ever meet. I say it every week; up until Sunday night. In fact, I say it so much I practically believe it. It’s like I am convinced that by saying it I will right all the wrongs that I did the week before. Or maybe I say it so I can feel better about myself?  All I know is, I’ve been going nuts with that phrase for the past several months.

My biggest lie is that I will start running and exercising on Monday. If I mess up that week, I say it’s ok I will start the following Monday. You see, it’s a vicious cycle. Somehow in my messed up cranial cavity I have managed to kidnap my logical/ realistic brain cells and replace them with the denial ones.

I could post more you know. There’s thousands of images like these on the wonderful web.

I also use Monday’s for the day I start writing, sketching, taking more photos,  a new class, sign up to the gym again, stop alcohol, go on those dating apps again, stop eating feta cheese and dairy products in general, go to sleep early and any other thing I decide befits a Monday starting point.

At least this Monday I did start exercising again. But the real question is, will I keep it up? I suppose that’s my biggest problem.  Sticking with something until I see results. If I don’t see a quick turn around I get frustrated and then lose all hope for a better me. A bit over the top, I know. Oh, what an odd human I’ve turned out to be. Anyway, I will save that rant for another day. Possibly for a Tuesday.


Why It’s Okay to Indulge in Scrumptious Food…

foodie, foodporn, food quotes, lifestyle, food, yumminess, julia childs

I was going to do a weekend photo Journal post but then I made some brownies and  I thought to myself, man, food makes you feel all kinds of awesome. So… why not write about it.

We are in the age of constantly watching what you eat. Diet and exercise, exercise and smoothies, smoothies and juicing, juicing and lots of water. It stems from trying to attain the best body out there in order to compete with the beautiful people over in La La Land. They grace our magazine covers, have been objectified in a sexy movie sequence and have even showed their healthy lifestyle through their social media page. Just once I would love to see the likes of Jennifer Lopez sharing an Instagram photo of her scarfing her face with a big stuff crust pizza as she cries about the man who has messed with her emotions. Just to be clear, she can do no wrong in my eyes, however it would be nice to know that us mere mortals are not alone. I mean who hasn’t been there with a big ol’ pizza all to yourself?! We are human after all, with a whole range of emotions. Yet our social media feeds show only happy occasions filled with lots of exercise and healthy eating. Sometimes, it would be nice to know that the celebrities we look up to, fly off the rails from time to time.

Food, great food, is everything at times. It gives you comfort in times of sorrow. It gives you joy when you are surrounded by your friends and family. It brings people together when they are on dates. It helps you out when life throws a curve ball. I mean, there is a reason why soul food is call SOUL food peeps. It truly does feed your soul. It’s almost as good as sex. I said almost okay?! Nothing beats orgasms. Can I get an amen to that!

So why are we such control freaks all the time on how we deal with food? I know that eating healthy is extremely important to sustaining a long and ailment-free life. But, being a control freak all the time is just down right wrong. We should be enjoying life. You already control your work, school, dates, married life, children, single life, how much you drink, how much you spend and so on. Why can’t you just eat what you want and compensate by exercising more?

I’ve tried to restrict myself when it comes to food. And for a time I was very successful at it. But, that was at a time where it was my sole focus. At that time, food was the only thing that I could control. So I put 300% into it. But now that I’m living in London, with a full time job, and all the stresses that I’ve been faced with lately, sometimes I just want to come home and bake a batch of brownies. In fact, I’ve found that there’s something so therapeutic about baking. It’s like all the stresses in the world simply melt away as you concentrate on the ingredients of the masterpiece that you are about to create. It’s soothing, cathartic and once done, sends a whole bunch of happy, feel-good hormones gushing throughout your system.

So… here’s to loving food. Obviously everything in moderation. I’m struggling with the moderation bit. However don’t deny yourself for months at a time. You will be one miserable person to yourself and the people closest to you. Go on, you deserve a little yumminess in your life. And furthermore, stop beating yourself up for not looking like those celebrities. They have a whole team and a crap shoot of money behind how they look. All you need to know is that you are an awesome individual who knows that having a little [insert scrumptious food preference here] is you enjoying life. Personally, I don’t know what could be better than eating the fattest juiciest Greek food while laughing with the people who are dearest to me.

Peace, Love and Enjoy Food

Here’s some Food quotes to make you go… YES! ❤

A Casualty of The War On Fat…


On the 31st of August my pal (who I call Squishy) and I decided to combine forces of encouragement in the hopes of tackling the frustratingly difficult journey of losing weight. We figured the best way would be to motivate each other and share what foods we were eating throughout the day. You know like a keep-each-other-in-check kind of thing. She would be my Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and I would be her Jason Momoa. We would be motivators, terminators, hulkinators and whatever else kind of -ators we could think of.  After laying out the foundation of our ingenious plan, we decided that the best time to start this magical invigorating quest was on the first of September. Which of course was the next day.

As the first day of our amazing diet was upon us, we… wait, I suppose I should only refer to myself since I really have no clue what she was thinking about on that morning. However, I am pretty confident that on the first day, she would have felt similar to me. Either way, that morning I woke up feeling like I could conquer the world. I felt alive, with no doubts polluting the crevices of my brain. My buddy would totally agree. Plus give me a slight eye roll for over exaggerating my enthusiasm. I was pumped but let’s be honest, I was moderately pumped.


The first day went great and so did the second. We were literally killing it! Throughout this time we would snap a picture of each meal and send it over. That way we could secretly see the portion sizes and analyse if we were doing a good job. To be honest, I could sit here and tell you about every day. But I won’t, because that’s not why I’m writing this post and furthermore it would be a snooze-fest. So don’t you worry my cute little pandas, I wouldn’t put you through that agony. However I will state that today would have been the 16th day of our amazing detox, cleaning from the inside out, dieting extravaganza. Now, do you want to know how long we actually lasted for? We started on a Monday and the cards came crashing down on that Friday. You see what both of us failed to realise is that a) the weekends would be a huge challenge and b) it would seem that we were quietly lying to ourselves. I don’t mean we were lying about what we were doing. I mean our subconscious, was literally lying to us and making us think that us two idiots would ever come close in mimicking the awesome motivational powers of Johnson and Momoa. We were no match. Our brains were wired differently. And something inside them made us cheat, rebel and break all the rules. Why?! And where in Sweatsville did my motivation run off to?!!


Somewhere along the lines I became a casualty on the war of fat on my body. I stopped trying. I stopped motivating myself. And for the life of me, I can’t seem to get out of this funk. After work I would come home and attempt to put on my gym clothes so I could go for a run. But something drags me. It’s as if my legs were dredging through a vat of cement. Every evening I would go through this. And one tiny phrase would ricochet off my brain cells with a glimmer of hope attached to it…. “I will start tomorrow. I will conquer and be awesome tomorrow.” And with that tiny little itty-bitty bullshit I spewed to myself, I then would sit my fat ass down and watch TV like a big ol’ pumpkin until I’d get tired and fall asleep.

I truly don’t know what went wrong. I never used to be like this. But how do I just start something? I know that’s the most stupidest question alive but I think I ask it because secretly I know the long and hard road I would eventually be on once I start the journey. I know what I have to do but I don’t want to do it for months, years, or a lifetime. And therein lies my problem. What I have to get through my thick skull is that being healthy is a lifestyle choice. You can’t just go on diets and then eat like a fatty after it. You will eventually gain it all back. I need to realise that if I want a better me, then I need to make health and fitness my life. It’s really that simple.

My friend and I failed to realise that we were the worst motivators for one another. It’s laughable at how unmotivational we were. A few “good jobs” and a couple “well done’s” did not make for a healthy weight loss regime. We failed to understand that we should have been all Bruce Lee about this situation. Instead we acted like fluffy Care Bears. Our motto would have been ‘Loosing weight, one hug at a time…” We went from yapping everyday (for 2 days straight mind you) to not getting in contact with each other for over a week now. That says a lot doesn’t it…We were just too similar in this department.

I think I need to get a defibrillator on my chest ASAP so as I can jump start my flatlining motivation. I don’t see any other way. I know it’s all in my head. But to be perfectly honest, what do you do when you literally have no will power? You are screwed. Something has got to give though. Because when I really think about it, I don’t want to be another casualty statistic on some fit trainer’s board of ‘Don’ts’. I want to be a ‘Do’ gosh dang it! I want to be a DO!

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