The Gaze That Stops Time

 

There comes a moment in every man’s life where he gazes into his partner’s eyes with a longing so deep that it touches the receiver’s soul. You could even say it’s a gaze that is more than life itself, aided by the twinkling of stars that has somehow been born from the universe. You are looking at a deep galaxy of lights, where each illumination is a memory that the bearer holds dear. And suddenly, just like the quickness of the snapping of fingers, a stillness of time manifests into infinity. It is just the two of you who matter, as the noises around you mute. You both seem to be in the know, while the rest of the world ceases to exist. That gaze, the one that makes you almost feel like you know the meaning of life, morphs into something that logically you can’t comprehend, and yet emotionally understand without question. Once this realisation hits, you become very aware that your breath becomes caught up in the thickness of the air around you, making it hard to digest the intensity . It’s a rarity… but if you are lucky enough to experience it, it is likely one that you will never forget.

I have had the great pleasure of experiencing such a gaze, not once but a few times throughout my life. And with each, came a knowing that at that moment the man that was doing the gazing cared for me without question. It was reassuring, comforting and probably made me overlook other blemishes that I otherwise would have never allowed. But once the gaze materialised, all rationale would fly right out the window. It was a drug so potent and so euphoric that I stuck around in the hopes of experiencing it again. I was a girl who loved love after all. Each gaze somehow cemented my  romanticised conviction about love. As I look back on each encounter, I do so with a longing and admiration that I was fortunate to experience the amount that I did.

I remember where I was and what I was doing with each gaze. Even the one’s that were many years ago still feel like new. But I have realised that there’s definitely different variation of the ‘gaze’. There are one’s, a gushy gaze, that allow you to open up and let the person in. While other’s, a grand gaze, that make you feel like you are an admired and wanted human being. And then there’s the doozy of all gazes, a gladiator gaze, which is the one that awakens your soul. The one where you can see each other growing old together.

For me, each experience has no doubt been ingrained right down to my core and from time to time I find myself thinking about those moments. I don’t think of the men, or the relationships. I think about the feeling, about the emotions, about the senses. It comes to mind more when I lose faith in men. Or when a devastating experience knocks me back into my fortified walls. Or when a momentary overwhelming feeling of loneliness settles in. But I want to make it clear that I don’t think of these instances to reminisce on what I’ve lost, or even to do a pity party, or a woe is me chant. No! I think of them because those feelings make me happy. Happy that I actually was able to experience such a powerful emotion. Happy that even despite the uncertainties that life brings, for a brief moment I felt love in all its richness and grandeur.

The gaze is a powerful phenomenon surrounded by yearning, pheromones and enigma. It’s something that makes you feel invincible. But with this awe-inspiring power comes delirium and a susceptibility to goofiness, vulnerability and even allowing the giver of the gaze more leeway then what you ever intended. So take great care when receiving the gaze. Cherish it, adore it, and be mindful of it. The whizzing of whimsy will engulf you; revel in it. Even if I never am able to receive the gaze from another man again, at least I can look back in fondness of the ones I have had the honour of obtaining.

❤ ❤ ❤

The Best Ideas for Valentine’s Day

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Well, my how the time flies. It would seem another Valentine’s Day has crept around the corner to grace us with its presence. Despite me being single yet again on this joyous  occasion, I’ve decided to do a post on more meaningful things you could do as opposed to your run-of-the-mill restaurant affair.

I was thinking that if this is the day to celebrate love, then surely it should be the day that one should go above and beyond their normal date night. I’m not talking about shelling out big bucks on materialistic affection. No, I’m talking about taking time out of your busy schedule to create a magical night. I think couples, especially the one’s who’ve been together for a while, look at Valentine’s day as another date night. Dinner and a little present that you probably picked up at the last minute. I mean, if we have to celebrate this holiday then shouldn’t we go all out to show our affection towards the people that we love? And I’d like to point out, it’s the thought that counts. If it were me and I came home to a fort made with comfy pillows, fairy lights, dinner and a movie care box that would be a really sweet gesture. I would feel like my partner has really taken the time out to think of something intimate, cosy, and from the heart. But maybe that’s just me…

Anyway, I better get on with it or I will start down the road of why we should be celebrating Love 365 days a year instead of just the one.

Have an Indoor Picnic for Two or Create a Cosy Fort…

Even though this is a simple gesture, it’s still a meaningful gesture nonetheless. It shows that you took the time to make the evening special.

Make it a Special Movie Night Affair…

Grab a couple of movies that you will both enjoy (doesn’t need to be rom-coms btw), get some snacks and a cute card that you’ve made yourself with maybe a little letter to show why you love them and you’re good to go.

Make Breakfast Special…

Creating heart-shaped, lovey dovey breakfast treats for the one you love will go down really well. Surprise them even further by bringing it to them in bed.

Open When… Little gifts/letters to open at certain times

You can create a whole heap of little letters or presents for your significant other. Some could be open when:

  • You’re feeling sad
  • You’re missing me
  • You’re stressed
  • You’re made at me

And so on.

52 Reasons Why I Love You…

OK so maybe 52 reasons may be a lot for some of you. But who knows, you just might surprise yourself. Not only will this be an exercise for you to really look at why you love the other person, but again it will be a great gift to receive because you’ve made it from scratch.

Great Food/Drink/Dessert Ideas

This one is pretty self-explanatory!

Create a Care Package of Love…

You can fill these bad boys up with anything you like. Sweets, flowers, letters, pressies, or whatever else you can think of! Showing your partner that you made this care box yourself will go down a treat.

Create a Unique Card…

Insert a little poem that you’ve found (or write one yourself), or write a sentimental letter of when you knew the first time you fell in love with them was, or maybe even a little inside joke that only you two share. Just do something more than writing Dear… and Love always…

Create Love Vouchers/Coupons

On top of your other treats, give these out so they can redeem them throughout the year. This will not only aid to your date nights but also spice up your relationship a little.

DIY Boxes and Decorations

You can put paper hearts on the floor for them to follow to their real surprise. Or create DIY boxes to hold your presents in or simply decorate your place with different make-shift trinkets of love.

Have a Painting Session for Two…

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This could be a great way to spend some quality time with someone. Turn off your phones, sip some wine, eat some dessert and laugh at your horrible masterpieces.

Or you could recreate the scene from ‘Ghost’

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Okay maybe you can skip the latter and just watch the movie instead.

Create a Happy Jar…

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Another cute sentimental gift that you can create to make your partner happy throughout the year.

Create Your Very Own Scratch Cards…

This is just the cutest idea! You can’t not do it now!

Leave a Huge Post-It Collage Somewhere…

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You could write what you love about them, or little love quotes or whatever tickles your fancy.

❤ ❤ ❤

All in all, whatever you decide to do, just make it a heartfelt gesture. We have gotten so caught up with quickly buying generic cards and presents that somewhere along the line we forgot to celebrate the person that we’re with. We’ve forgotten to really take a moment and spend good quality time with our significant others. So go all out and be creative. Don’t be lazy bastards and settle for quick fixes. And just remember… if you’re going to do a big shebang on the day, turn off your phones for even a couple of hours and really connect with the person that you love.

Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day pandas!

*If you want details on all the photos used please check my Pinterest board here…

Love Seemed Much Simpler in My Parents and Grandparents Generation

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Does anyone else feel like things are moving too fast nowadays when it comes to dating, love and relationships in general? Or am I the only one woman island in the middle of nowhere? As I look at my parents and grandparents’ relationships I have come to the conclusion that things have become a little warped. It definitely doesn’t seem so rosy anymore and somewhere along the way there seems to have been more rules put in place to make things even more difficult.

Since when was there a playbook developed of do’s and don’ts in contacting the opposite sexes? We seem to all be floating around not really certain of where we stand anymore. Do we text them or not? Do we make the first move? Should we be swiping 100 times to the right just to make our quota for the day? Because more is obviously better, or so I’ve been told. Where has the commitment gone? Where has the adventure of getting to know someone gone? Are the only two things I have to look forward to in life is superficial dating apps and TV shows where you get naked to see if you’re attracted to them? I mean call me old fashioned but what penis is attractive? And fanny holes? Jeeeeessssuuus help me.

I’m not joking about that TV show by the way. It’s actually called ‘Naked Attraction’. Apparently in the first episode there’s a line of men put in front of a woman and they drop their pants to show off their saggy junk. You don’t see their upper body. Have we become so desensitised as a people that we don’t care anymore.

I look at my parents and think how have they stuck it out. Of course they get into fights. My mom is crazy and my dad is stubborn. But every day when my dad leaves the house he gives my mom a kiss. And then my momma gives him one back. They smile and go about their day. They talk, albeit a lot. But that’s communication. They seem committed to one another; through thick and thin. When times were rough they banded together. They worked at it. They laughed. And according to my mom they still have sex. (I just threw up). They’re in their 70’s and to be honest good for them. I just don’t think my ears have to hear things like that.

My grandparents (maternal side) were together for like 70 years until my grandpa sadly passed away. Those two used to yell at each other so much that I thought they were going to kill one another. I remember being 6 years old in New York when my grandparents came over from Greece to live with us. My grandpa (who I called Dedo) would call my Baba (grandma) stupid (the most mild of them all) and she in turn would insult him right back. However, they loved each other. They stuck it out. Baba was there through Dedo’s battle with Cancer. They kissed, (granted on very rare occasions because they were old fashioned like that) they hugged and they even cooked together. I remember them making kielbasa (type of spicy sausage) in the kitchen while singing old Macedonian songs in their house in Northern Greece. As I remember these things, trying to figure out where we all went wrong, I realised that they did not grow up with the same amount of choice that we have now. Their world was a lot smaller. They met people in person; when neighbours still talked to one another. My grandparents went to the same elementary school and got married in their teens. My parents met at a Greek church while they both happened to be studying at Ohio Wesleyan University and literally after 9-10 months my dad asked for her hand in marriage. They tied the knot in December 1968. You do the math.

Love did seem simpler then. Less choice and no internet I imagine. Previous generations didn’t have unlimited access to porn. They didn’t have the option to look at pictures online and jerk-off. Or swipe quickly through hundreds of photos in the hopes that they bettered their odds in the return. There was no Facebook, or Instagram or match.com. There was nothing. So they were able to walk up to a person and start a decent and genuine conversation. They were able to smile longingly at one another and were able to really get to know each other. And finally, they actually wanted to get married. I know right, what a weird concept. By the way I’m not saying that everyone should be married. In fact I do think it’s just a piece of paper at the end of the day. What’s important and what I’m implying is the commitment part. The working together part. The being together through happy and sad times part.

I’m tired of today’s society when it comes to love. I’m tired that men and women take things like relationships for granted. That they never fully commit because they always think something better will come along. Why? Because there’s just too much choice. People date, start relationships and still flick through Tinder, Badoo and whatever else in the hopes of finding someone better. Someone that will love them the way that they want to be loved without any compromise. Someone that will do everything. Well here’s a thought. What about communicating? Meeting in the middle? Working at something with every fibre of your being? How about, stop taking the easy road. Stop quitting. Just a thought.

I look at both the previous generations and I see an era of fighters. As I look at mine, I see shrugged shoulders and whatever faces. I see women, my friends, yearning for love and always being let down. I see men who don’t know whether they’re coming or going. In general I see a bunch of confused souls happy to live the fast paced life of just judging someone by a photo on their screen. I see a generation that’s decensitised to everything.

What will the future hold for a hopeful old school romantic such as myself? Not much I would suspect. Because I can’t bring myself to go on dating apps. Believe me, I’ve tried. But I just can’t do it. I do better with talking to people in person. You know why? Because that’s the real me. When I’m texting, trying to get to know someone, I over think my answers. I type and delete, delete and type, 300 times before I send something out. I wait in replying because one can’t seem too eager, and then have to wait ages for the other person to respond because we’ve both listened to some invisible handbook of ‘How to court someone in the 21st Century’. However, in person,  you’re the real you. You also get to see the other person’s body language. Their tells. You learn a lot about a person with watching them answer questions or how they react to something you’ve said.

Maybe I’m too much of a hopeless romantic with an over zealous streak of cynicism. Maybe I’ve been hurt on one too many occasions. Maybe I’m not willing to conform to modern day society. Maybe I’ve over romanticised the past. Or maybe I haven’t.

Maybe, maybe maybe…

Anyway, I don’t know guys, maybe I will end up being a spinster for the rest of my life and that’s that. But I do know that I’m not so sure I will get to have what my grandparents had or furthermore what my parents have…

Parents

My Parents

But here’s to hoping that not all is lost.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to succumb to Naked Attraction and watch penises for the next hour. Because that’s what these modern folks are doing nowadays right? Eeehhhh…. right. Off I go.

❤ ❤ ❤

A Sunday Kind of Love…

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Ah amour… Isn’t it grand. This one word has played host to a whole range of emotions ever since the very first thought and feeling formed in our Neanderthal cousins. They were the first of our species to live together and congregate in groups, so I can only assume it started then. Sometimes I’m sure you’ve wished that you never knew the word love and what it stands for, while other times you knew that life was not worth living without having it. Which is curious seeing as most of us are forgetting the details in it. We are rushing from relationship to fling, to hook up, back to a relationship whereupon losing the glorious subtleties in the slowness of a flickering flame. The beginning musings of two lovers has become a novelty act in a modern novel which will no doubt be picked up by a billion dollar movie company so it can be mass produced and distort our already skewed notions of the subject. They forget to tell the truth that sometimes love doesn’t work out. But the point of it, is to have been able to have experienced it. The touching of hands, the embrace leading up to a passionate kiss. The midnight conversations and the giggling of inside jokes. I know it’s an even better story if the “Boy gets the girl”, but what about what they went through after that?

I would just like to point out that I am not pooh-poohing on love. On the contrary I am a great romantic soppy being who has unfortunately shoved all the mushy hope of love deep down into the darkest recesses of my soul. But despite this blockage, I still yearn for it. I suppose ultimately I want to be proven wrong. I want more than anything, to experience falling in love again. But I want it to be done the right way. And I want a man to at least make the effort to go along for the ride. To be partners even if for a short moment in time. But living in a fast paced city along with failed relationships, I have started to lose faith. I have started to internalise that maybe the common denominator is me in all of this. That maybe I can’t compete with these Instagram famous beauties and tinder women ready to give it up in two seconds. I unfortunately have realised that I am an old soul. A soul that needs to feel some sort of way before I spread my legs to a potential suitor. I mean usually if the man lasts three dates, chances are he’s getting some. However, I want to be courted and wooed  despite the fact that I am a strong, independent woman. I want to feel like I would be a great catch. And thus, when I feel like the burdens of love gets the best of me, I have a little trick that soothes my melancholic mood… I turn to Etta. That’s Etta James to the rest of you. Haha oh I’m just joshing! But seriously though… I think it’s best you call her Ms. James.

It’s no secret that I am one huge Etta James fan. Yes, sure, she was troubled and had hardships throughout her life. But, the woman harnessed those feelings to tell stories through song. And one has stuck with me and probably will stick with me, for the rest of my life….A Sunday Kind of Love.

When I was younger I never really got it. But as I grew up I realised that I too was longing for something such as the comfortability of what a ‘Sunday Love’ could bring. I tend to romanticise how things used to be back in the day. Which is also no secret by the way. I don’t really know why that is. I suppose it was the slow smooth pace of things. I would hear my parents and grandparents tell their stories of how they fell in love and my imagination then got the best of me. I truly believe I was born in the wrong era. Does anybody else feel that way too? I just really long for the simplicities at times.

To me a Sunday Kind of Love meant a love that would last past the dynamic intensity of the initial meeting. It meant longevity, stability, the easiness of a Sunday morning (Lionel Richie style).

Etta James’ raspy strong vocals caressed your ears and when she sang:

I want a, a love that’s on the square
Can’t seem to find somebody
Someone to care
And I’m on a lonely road
That leads to nowhere
I need a Sunday kind of love

I felt it. I knew what she was talking about. I went through it and I too longed for something more from this life. It’s so easy to let a big city take you and friends who rush you and your job that pushes you and a family that rushes you some more, that you naturally forget that love was meant to be experienced and not dabbled in. It should be something that you immerse yourself in, in order to get the full effects. Why is that so hard nowadays. We are turning into robotic zombies. We meet people through apps, we judge them quickly in a photo and a few random text messages and bang that’s it. What happened to looking at someone from a distance, looking at all their features, watching how they laugh with their friends or how their eyes sparkle when they are engrossed in a passionate subject. A single photo would not be able to show you all these nuances. And it might be one of these nuances that attracts you to someone.

Therefore I too want a Sunday kind of love. I want someone who will be there for me. Someone who gets me and cherishes the time and memories that we have created together. I want laughter to consume us and happiness to guide us. I want an adventurer who will follow me to new destinations; and I will him. I want easiness, wholeness, trustworthiness, attentiveness and assuredness.

I don’t think it’s wrong to hold out for these things. And I also don’t think that I am asking for the moon. So therefore I will keep my steadfastness in tact thank you. Even if it’s turning out to be just me and Etta on this quest. But I sure as hell know, I will not settle just because I found someone with a penis. Oh no! I will get that Sunday Love even if it kills me. And when I do… “At Last” will be the next song that I will be blasting from Etta’s catalogue of awesomeness….

Peace, Love and forever Etta James ❤

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The 92 Year Old Man Who Sang To His Dying Wife

Disney's Pixar Up

What I’m about to show you has been viewed a little over 4.3 million times and keeps on rising steadily. The first time I saw it,was actually two nights ago when a friend posted it to her wall. And to be completely honest… I cried as if my heart was being brought back to life. It was the sweetest, most sincere, and most genuine video I have seen in a while. Get ready… Oh and crack out the tissues.

 

Tears came didn’t they? I know, I’m sorry. But it really was sweet wasn’t it? A beautiful moment between two lovers (probably high school sweethearts) who have been together for several decades. It’s something that doesn’t come by often. So when I see such things, a part of me (quite a huge chunk really) can’t help but feel sad. Why was I  feeling sadness instead of happiness? Well, I think it’s because there’s a very good possibility that I might not ever get to experience a companionship like this.

With every generation that passes it would seem that we have gotten worse in the love department. I shudder to think what will happen to several generations down the line. I fear we will have robotic companions instead of human ones. We are already disposing of each other as quickly as we’ve found them. That’s why I’m sad. It’s a culmination of a few things which were delicately intertwined together to create this uneasy, heavy feeling in my heart.

Will I ever have an “our song” that I could sing with my partner? Will we be silly together and not have a care in the world on who watched our giddiness? And will I ever know a 6 decade kind of love? The answers to these questions are unknown. I truly have no clue. I wish I could be more certain and say it’s definitely in my cards to find the love of my life. A part of me thinks that maybe I already experienced love and that was all I was going to get.

When I look at the older generations it becomes more and more apparent that they had their heads and hearts in the right places. They were the go-getters. They strived for greatness in the face of adversary. They were the creators, visionaries, dreamers, rebels, activists and lovers. They built and we sat back and watched. They conquered and we basked in their spoils. They didn’t have the distractions of social media and the chaos of a modern world. And above all else they went after love and cherished it.

I look at this video and it reminds me that I have yet to feel an everlasting love. A love that I can think of fondly. An unconditional emotion that moves me to my very soul. My tears were sad yes, but I still hold on to hope. And maybe that’s all I need to keep going. Something happened as I let my heart open up while watching two human beings in love. An intimate moment that someone graciously shared with the world. That little window helped me start to heal my already hardened heart.

So here’s to the older generation. The ones who tell stories of a time that seemed precious and full of optimism. The ones that continue to show us how life should have been lived. The ones that loved deep until death do they part.  I truly hope they rubbed off on more than just a handful of us. That way we can pass on their zest for love, life and pure happiness.

Peace, love and hope…

❤️

The Love of a Smile…


 

Smiles and laughter filling up the heart.
It’s about to burst!
Giddiness flutters around, oozing out of your soul.
Rays of glistening sun beams bounce off you.
Illuminating others around you.
Infectious, addictive, sugary sweetness.
Heavy gasps of air. Feeling light headed again.

This must be what blooming feelings like in luscious flowers.
Breathing in deep hypnotic flavours. Robust notes.
Jasmine, rose, honey milk. An unknown elixir.
Impossible to superficially mass-produce it.

I’ve succumbed to all my senses.
I’ve let go. Lightness embodies me.
Tickling emotions. Mischievous emotions.
Toying. Playing. Laughing. Being. Living.
Smiling…