My fluffy Pandas! Hope you’re all doing well.
Sunday night I was looking at my Facebook Newsfeed, partly because I was bored and mostly because I had just finished from a long weekend of firsts for me (which I will explain in another post) so I really didn’t know what to do with myself. As I was scrolling, I stumbled upon one of Juliette Lewis’ posts. Firstly can I just say that I have loved her since the 80’s and secondly I once bumped into her right off of Charing Cross Road in London. I was with my friend at the time and we were just faffing around, not really knowing what to do for the remainder of our time together. When lo and behold this petite woman walked past us. I was like “DUDE!! that’s Juliette Lewis! I love her!” We then proceeded to follow her, desperately trying not to look like one of those questionable stalkers. She was on the phone and when she saw us hovering around and staring at her like a bunch of morons she hung up and we asked for her autograph. We only had one piece of paper amongst me and my friend, so after we apologised profusely for bothering her, she signed the lonely sheet. Anyway long story short she was super nice in person which made me like her even more than what I already did.
So back to the real story, she posted something that made me want to scream YES at the top of my lungs. Not only because I agreed with it so vehemently but because I have been spouting the same thing (For example… here, here, here and here) ever since Tinder and Badoo came into existence. Here it is before I start yapping on and on….
I mean right?! Like, exactly this! Every perfectly chosen word hits home with a loud bang. For me, personally, I have found it hard to conform to these dating app/online shenanigans. I tried Tinder once but hated it and Badoo was equally as disappointing. I did meet a man through the latter one who tried to “date” me but he had major issues with opening up and commitment. So that ended up becoming sex every once in a blue moon. So after that experience I got rid of the apps. I was fed up really. I was annoyed that I had to put a photo up of myself along with a short biography that no one ever reads. I hated the fact that I was being judged on photos only. What about my wit, or the twinkle in my eye, or seeing my genuine smile or hearing me laugh? These apps are missing the most important bits of you. The tiny nuances that make you, you! These frozen images that are carefully constructed to attract more views are on display 24/7. Therefore men can go through hundreds of women to help increase their probability that one or three will respond positively to them. They are not looking for the one. They are merely looking for the one right now. And then the one two days from now. And then the one 3 weeks from now. We are in the disposable era. In fact we are so quick at the process that someone invented a technique which only takes a single swipe to say you don’t like the way they look.
Whatever happened to wanting to get to know a person? As Juliette Lewis says, people don’t want to ‘deliciously tango their minds and universes’ together. To intertwine their experiences, feelings, thoughts, hopes, fears. Where is the late night deep, meaningful conversations? The laughter? The tears? Why do we want to accept this doomed world of robotic humanoids who only interact with electronic devices. Aren’t your necks fucking stiff by know? All that looking down. We are forgetting what it is to be human. To love deeply and to open your soul to another beautiful soul. I fear that in about another 10 years our younger generations will not know how to speak to another human, face to face. They will be the shielded screen generation. The mutes who probably will have evolved to possessing 12 fingers and telepathy.
Men are forgetting about chivalry and the coy, intricate workings of the chase. And women unfortunately, are allowing themselves to be caught without a fight. Not even questioning where the wooing, courtship, romance has gone. We are accepting things as “well, that’s evolution for ya! I will jump on the bandwagon because every other woman has done so.” We as women are allowing these men to treat us as second hand products that they can swipe through to get to the shinier newer ones. Where have our standards gone women?! Personally, at this very moment, I do not care that everyone and their mommas are on these apps. I do not enjoy them. I find texting a tedious task that only proves how cowardly people have become. I mean for example, on two separate occasions I was excommunicated with through a Facebook message and via a text. These men didn’t even have the balls to call me. They didn’t respect me enough as a person to give me the common courtesy of a phone call.
I want to hold onto the fact that people can still meet in a random time and place and catch the playful longing in someone’s eye across the room; which entices you to gravitate towards each other. As you start talking you might notice that they have the cutest, tiniest freckle grazing the corner of their lips. You find out they laugh with such gusto for life and they touch your arm gently to let you know they are interested. The sensations make you blush slightly. The musky yet playful air of flirtation runs rampant as they brush the hair away from your face. Then suddenly your senses get hit again. This time with a deliciously enticing scent. For a second your mind wanders as you engulf their aura. You try and lean closer. You’re interested. And as this beautiful sonata crescendos towards a gratifying peak you realise that a mere photo of this person would not have done them justice. In fact this small dance that was just exchanged was more intense than a ‘what’s up?’ through a text message. Because once you take a way the barrier of the screen from your electronic device you see a raw, unfiltered, unedited soul. What could be more beautiful than that?
I don’t want to settle for the mundane bullshit of me sitting at home flicking through random profile photos. I want to converse, laugh, play with their hair, brush past their arm gently and create a witty match of sentences as we discover all the unknowns. I want to live outside in the world and not the created one that we portray on social media. I want to be more than a frozen portrait on someone’s screen that they can swipe away as if shooing a fly.
Please for the love of rainbows, can we remember the beauty of a chance meeting? The power of in-person interaction. There really isn’t anything better than that cheeky glance at the beginning of a flirtatious encounter. Because in that moment, your world becomes infinite. It becomes real. It becomes a little more meaningful. And what can be better than that?
❤ ❤ ❤