I wrote this title about
92 96 days ago, so please forgive me, I have no clue where I first read it. However, I’ve put quotes, which indicates I did not say it. You know, just in case some Joe Shmo penalises me for plagiarism of a sentence. I did not write the title. Okay? Okay!
Anyway, now, more to the point. Do you have a good relationship with yourself? It’s an important question to ask, ya know. Do you truly respect yourself and know your self-worth? If the answers are ‘I’m not sure’ or ‘ I don’t know’ then I must ask you… If you have no clue, then how will you be able to have a good relationship with others? How will others treat you if you aren’t sure how to treat yourself?
When I first read this statement, I struggled for a thought. Some glimmer of an idea on whether or not I had a good relationship with myself. It was hard. But my answer eventually was, I am still building on the relationship with myself. However, even despite the ever-growing bond that I strive to keep up with, analysing this statement made me realise that I definitely have shown more love to myself as the years have gone by. And I think that’s because I took time out to get to know me better. As in, being able to chill on my own. As in, to be alone. I have been officially single for 3 1/2 years. Jesus, saying it out loud is a hard pill to swallow. This does not mean I haven’t seen a penis in 3 1/2 years okay?! There’s been a cockatwo flying around. <— see what I did there? Haha! Oh I sure do love myself enough to assume me! Anyway, there was nothing to write home about really. My point is…. It has been this solitude that has helped me love me for me.
I have been in and out of relationships since I was 14. And with each great love came the undoing of my character. I lost myself at times. I yearned to be apart of something greater than myself. Yet, I never realised that I wasted a lot of years on relationships that did not help, encourage or support me the way one should. So I floated on by until one day someone came along and broke my spirit. My love, for love, was gone. My trust, gone. My laughter, gone. My supportive nature, gone. My yearning to grow together, gone. Our separation made me negative, cruel, selfish, closed off and uninterested in penises for the foreseeable future. But slowing as the days turned into months, I started turning back into my old self. The one that I had forgotten about. And slowly, I found things to love about myself. Slowly I started to respect myself more and found my self worth.
The thing is when I was in that horrible relationship, I lost all of myself. He broke me down and kept me down. And because of that, I couldn’t see clearly. I don’t blame everything on him. But when someone keeps repeating “You’re not good enough” so to speak, in your ear then what are you going to believe? That you’re not good enough! Slightly veering off tangent here but isn’t it funny how time really does mend wounds? You will still be left with scars but at least the memories would be as distant as you are to the moon.
So the point to this whole post, is to set your relationship with yourself to a high standard. If you love yourself and know your self-worth then others will treat you in that same regard. When I thought I wasn’t good enough of a human being to have meaningful relationships, it’s exactly what I got. I set up bad joojoos for myself. Now that I’ve decided to step away from people in general, it has done me a world of good. However I’m starting to feel like I’m moving towards the other extreme of spinsterhood with cobwebs soon to be in my Va-jay-jay. But that is a different post for maybe like a rainy kind of day and some slow melancholic music.
Moral of the story: Treat yourself like a queen (or king) and others will treat you the same way. They will see you in that light. They won’t want to take advantage of you if you portray strength and tenacity. They will be kind if you ooze kindness yourself. They will see you how you see yourself. So what are you waiting for, start getting to know yourselves better! Learn what you are all about. And most of all, learn not to take shit from anyone.
❤ ❤ ❤