Pandas I don’t know what’s up with people (me included), but we are getting softer as the years go by. In fact we are letting a lot of things slip. Things that used to be checked and brought to attention. Action used to be a big priority. Words helped, but it was the action of your beloved’s soul that made you feel wanted, cared for and loved. So why in god’s name are we letting people get away with months or years worth of no action? It’s mind-boggling to say the least.
In generally I think a lot of things have shifted in the relationship department. You see, what happens is that you’re out there feeling like you will forever be the single princess “kissing” all these frogs that when a possible suitor takes to you with affection in his eyes, you pounce. You hurry up and try to lock that shit down. At first, things are great. You’re like one of those couples who frolic in slow-motion towards each other in a random field of daisies somewhere. Your eyes sparkle when you see each other. He pulls out chairs, you tend to his blow job needs, and lastly you both make sure that the other is wanting for nothing. But then something happens. There comes a point in every relationship where you test just how stuck you are with a person. And by this I mean, there will always come a point where you will know without a shadow of a doubt that you could do practically anything (take annoyance to their character and actually tell them, omitting the fact you didn’t take the garbage out, flirting with someone else) and they will still stick around. Why? Because you’ve invested all this time in them. So if they don’t cheat, then you’re good.
At first it’s tiny things, like not pulling out the chairs all chivalrous-like for her or not giving him sexual pleasure as much. And before you know it your good deeds and signs of affection diminish into a tiny little flicker. You forget that you used to make her breakfast in bed on occasions, or rub her feet after a long day’s work. You forget how you used to wait for him all naked, or make him his favourite meal when he’s down. You forget to show how sorry you were when you’ve gotten into a fight. It’s sad really. Because so many couples forget that it takes a partnership to making a lasting relationship work.
If you are “forgetting” to take action then your partner will figure that you have lost interest. They will start to feel unloved, unwanted and uncared for. How could you do that to someone you once professed so much affection for? And what do we do once we can’t be bothered in taking action anymore? We do a lot of talking. We yap until we’re blue in the face. “I know baby! You are so right. I will change. Don’t worry I will handle the floor boards and get new light bulbs. I wasn’t feeling well. You make me wanna be a better human being. I can see no other person in my future apart from you” and blah blah blah. That last one is the painful truth of my personal war with the last human I opened myself up to. And thus through his incessant musings of love towards me, he not only broke a strong woman but turned her into a pool of chaos, confusion and raging unquenched emotions. I know, some of you are thinking how could this be. But let me tell you one thing. When you get a person in your life that constantly whispers in your ear the tale of fantastical, out of this world love, you slowly start to break. All the little whispers, started spinning into a web of illusion. And then, just when you’re about to call it a day even after all the years you’ve wasted on a person, they hand out a tiny breadcrumb. They do and show just enough to keep you around. I suppose you don’t go anywhere because you’re not a quitter. You want this to work. But you have been neglected and you too start to not show the feeling you once had.
So what do we do? Well for starters we have to stop thinking like this relationship is going to be the only one in our lives. Or how about stop thinking that you will never feel like this with anyone else again. If anything you need to make it clear to your partner that you will be fine on your own. That if you don’t start seeing some changes, you have absolutely no problem in finding a new partner. You need to put your foot down. Because at the end of the day they could yap until the cows come home (one of my mom’s sayings haha!). It still won’t change the fact that not a damn thing is getting done. Sure they say they love you. But what have they done to support those words? Were they there for you in an emotional and mental way? Sure they bought you a beautiful bracelet, but were they there for you when your family member was ill? Sure they say they will pay you back, but when was the last time they made a deposit? When was the last time they said what they meant and did what they said? All these questions are valid and must be asked.
At the end of the day, actions will always speak louder than words. And every single one of us has got to drill it into our heads that this should always take precedent. If you love the person you are with, show them. Enough with all this talking. In fact we should all stop talking for an evening and show our partners (well your partners because this lady ain’t got no mans) just how much they mean to us. It’s time we stopped assuming that they will always be around. Because that means your taking someone for granted and believe me, it’s not a nice feeling when you’re the one on the receiving end.
So here’s to more action! Pandas, GET ON IT!