Why hello my little Pandas! Tomorrow (actually in a few minutes) is officially my birthday. Yup another year in the can! I would’ve liked to give a proverbial hollaaah with a ‘woop woop’ but I have somehow become a moody old cow over the last day or so.
Most people celebrate birthdays with grand parties, presents, friends and cake. But I like to take this day as an ‘official reminder’ that I have yet to have something great to celebrate. And I will not even entertain the fact of me getting one year older. That, my dear pandas, I shall not and will not celebrate. Can I get a booooo to that!
I don’t want to celebrate my birthday. Is that so bad? Well, luckily I also happen to not give a piggy’s patootie over the whole matter. So there. I have somehow (like every year) come to the realisation that I have yet to accomplish certain things in my life. And the wrinkle lines around my asymmetrical eyeballs are starting to show a story of grim proportions. So this year instead of being fake and inviting people to celebrate a day that means I am one more year closer to death, I have decided to write some resolutions down. And all you wonderful pandas can bear witness. Lucky you! I figured that if I write this stuff down for all the world to see then I can’t go back and sit my fatty self in a corner somewhere, crying and eating my whole body weight in donuts.
These resolutions will not be like my New Years ones. Oh no, I will not lie to myself again that’s for damn sure. You guys know what I’m talking about. We all make them in order to be a part of a big gang of can-do pooh faces. A couple of years ago I resolutely declared with emphatic glee that I was going to be WWE Total Divas fit. A few years before that I vowed that I was not going to fall in love with assholes (for lack of a better word). Both of which I failed miserably. Last year I made the simplest of resolutions, which was to (and I quote) ‘Continue growing and evolving’. You see I thought I was cheating the system because we all grow and evolve. Therefore I was able to successfully complete one new years resolution. Of course I was talking about evolving to some enlightened state of being. Not evolving from sweat pants to leggings on a Sunday or spicing things up with a new shampoo and conditioner. In fact, I devolved. I devotedly and deliriously devolved from a sane human being to a remote control swinging couch-hugging lumber jack. Suffice it to say, it hasn’t been a very productive year.
So this birthday I shall make proper resolutions. I will stick it out and they WILL be accomplished, whole-heartedly by my next birthday. Here we go…
- To give myself affirmations every day. And not just when I feel pretty (which is rare).
- To stop being so harsh on myself all the time. Some people have it a lot worse off and I need to remember that. So stop whining about how life is tough and suck it up!
- To become healthier. Of course I mean fitter as well, like the Bella Twins (because who doesn’t want heads to turn) but I want to feel like I have found the elixir of the gods.
- To learn to let love in. I must open myself up and stop being so closed off. Yes I met someone who was an unsavoury character and since then it has stopped me from meeting other people. I must shake this off if I am ever going to have kids in the near future. But then again, I can always adopt, so this resolution isn’t on the top of the list.
- To finish my course that I started back in February. This one is definitely on the top of my list. This right here, is going to better my life in the long run and get me out of the job that I’m in at the moment.
- To finally get all of my thoughts down on paper and start writing that book. I did start a while ago but I never continued it. I have all the characters and the outline in my head yet I have never pushed myself. I guess there is some fear that I need to deal with as well.
- To deal with my fears. Big and small.
- To go on one vacation this year that doesn’t involve me visiting my parents.
- To enjoy life more and stop stressing out. It’s too damn short.
- And finally I hope that this time next year I will be an overall happier person, who has accomplished the resolutions that she has set forth the year before. That way I can finally have some cake!
Here’s to the new year ahead. Another year older and slightly a little wiser yet still so much more to learn. Here’s to laughing until my cheeks go numb. To the late night conversations with a loved one. To the evening picnics surrounded by fireflies and music. Here’s to the adventures of life and creating new journeys on an untrodden path. Here’s to not being perfect. Here’s to loving me for who I am, flaws and all. This year I’m going to do some things differently. So… here’s to me.
PS- I decided to throw in a photo… Why not? Oh and in case you were wondering that look of utter confusion on my face is that of me trying to figure out my life knowing that I’m another year older. Maybe I should have put one of me crying. Ah well… It’ll have to do.