Why hello you beautiful pandas you! Today I am going to discuss compliments because dear lord, it’s looking like we’ve forgotten how to accept one graciously without throwing back something negative about us. I don’t know where we went wrong all these years, but women are finding it harder and harder to take a compliment. Well, enough is enough.
Now I know some of you beauties out there are brimming to the rim with confidence, to the point of me wanting to throw up in your faces. That’s super great for you, but alas not all of us are built like an ox of confidence. I have no idea what that would actually look like but I think you get my drift right? A confidently sturdy big ol’ ox. Anyhow, there are some of us ladies that just can’t take a compliment to save our lives. It’s ridiculous really, to think so low of ourselves that we can’t even acknowledge the fact that someone else is taking the time to notice and pay us a compliment. Shit, I would kill for someone to notice me a bit more, other than friends.
Anyhow, the reason why I’m bringing up this whole confidence thing is because the other day at work a colleague came up to me and said you look really nice today. You could see that she genuinely meant it. Plus she’s also one of those ladies who won’t say anything nice if she doesn’t mean it. Technically speaking, it is customary to say thank you after receiving a sweet comment from someone. But did I? No… no I did not. Instead my eyes darted everywhere else apart from looking at her face, finally settling on a nice boring spot on the floor. I then proceeded to shoo her away as if my hands were fly swatters. “What? Me?! I look like shit.” She rolled her eyes at me. “No, no, seriously, you need to get your eyes checked women!” I said. “I’m literally walking around all raggedy like a zombie who hasn’t eaten in a while.” It’s like I was physically, mentally and emotionally allergic to anything nice coming my way. It was as if my brain couldn’t comprehend what an actually compliment was. I mean, was I soooo damaged as a person that I couldn’t accept some nice words? It was really mind boggling. The funny thing is, that when I pay others compliments their reaction is the same as mine. When did we get so self-conscious? Maybe, society had played a part in our current state of affairs. Every day we see beautiful women thrust upon our eyes and it’s hard to think you have anything remotely similar to offer. I mean, have we not seen all the airbrushed whorebags on the cover of all these magazines?! They’re in itty-bitty outfits, laughing, without a care in the world. After seeing all these beautiful women every day it’s a tad hard to be positive about your physical appearance. But that’s not the only issues we deal with. It could also be the partners that we’ve had in our lives and furthermore it could also be how our parents have moulded us when we were younger. Phew! That’s a lot of things to be battling against now that I’ve written it all down. No wonder we are a bit screwed up at times.
However, all is not lost. Even though I am a huge culprit of not being able to take a compliment, I have recently learned to shut my inner psycho off, look someone dead in the eye, wear the biggest smile known to man and say…. thank you so much. On the outside I am as cool as a cucumber even though I’m combusting internally. But they don’t have to know that. I have slowly started to silence all my negative demons one compliment at a time. To top it off, I keep a mental note of the compliments I receive which are stored for later use when I am by myself in front of a mirror. Odd you might say, but I say, genius. I take the compliment and I then say it to myself while looking in the mirror. “You see” I then later say. “You aren’t so bad looking after all. If people take the time out to say something nice about you, it means that there IS something nice about you.” And with that I take a deep breathe, stare at myself square in the eyeball and say… “Yes, you are not perfect, but who the hell is. You are special, a unique individual who can offer her own flavour of awesomeness to the world.”
I tell you, I still have really shitty days where I think I will be a spinster until the end of time with about 50 cats, but then there are other days where I think… Fuck, you aaiiight lady friend. You are definitely not too bad to look at. And your humour is amazing!
So the next time someone gives you a compliment, take it in. Appreciate it. Learn to not, I repeat, NOT, say anything negative to put yourself down after it. Do not dismiss it and turn the other cheek. Embrace the damn compliment for Christ sake and just say thank you. It’s that simple. Before you know it, you will be saying thank you without thinking. And when that moment comes, don’t forget to get a huge alcoholic beverage, make a toast to yourself, and say you did good kid. You will have finally learned how to appreciate you as a person. All of you. Imperfections and everything in between.