Hello to all my beautiful pandas out there!
I recently stumbled across another 30 day challenge that I of course had to share with you. This time around however, it’s to do with giving yourself love and positivity. Don’t roll your eyes. I promise, it will be good for you!
I’m not going to lie, I’m just going to come out with it and say it. I used to really hate myself at times. Maybe hate is a strong word but there were many occasions where I used to get excruciatingly miserable about myself. It varied, but the most common ones were…I was too fat, not pretty enough, my job was unfulfilling, my boobs looked gloopy and had a mind of their own, my unhappiness with the bump on my nose, why I couldn’t stop procrastinating, why I let myself be lured into bad relationships to get hurt, why I sat there and took it, and then it would circle back to the too fat ones again. Oh and for some reason I was convinced that I wasn’t good enough for men to stay around in a relationship. That inevitably they too would see all the flaws that I saw in myself and then eventually leave. Because it always came down to, I wasn’t pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, compassionate enough, selfless enough, and so on. I would literally nit-pick every flaw that I had to the point of leaving internal emotional wounds that have yet to heal. Only now do I see them slowly closing. But my greatest fear was and still is, that I would never be happy with myself. I think we all get like that from time to time.
Our insecurities and belief that we aren’t worthy enough starts from junior high school really. Around the 12 year old mark. And for the unlucky few it could start from even before that. People can be really cruel. But the cruellest of all is your own self. That’s why I decided a while ago that I would stop putting myself down. Every time a negative thought crept into my brain, I would quickly stop it from forming and start to point out something positive about myself. I now can cut a negative thought off in a millisecond and go about my day. In fact, it’s been a really long time since my truly negative days! Which I would like to shout a massive happy WHOOP WHOOP to!
All I can say is that the saying about loving yourself before you can love others is pretty accurate! How can you truly know love or how to love without loving yourself first?
So try doing a little affirmation every day. Point out something positive about yourself. It can be something small and then gradually you will see greater positive things about yourself. Try looking in the mirror while you say it. You will feel calmer, internally. Chaos that once might have formed from the feeling of sickly butterflies in your stomach, will cease to exist.
What I really wanted all you pandas out there to know is that you are all beautiful. I know this world is a shallow cesspool of vanity. We have become the pre-ejaculators of the visual era. Where it takes us about 5 seconds to look, judge and discard. So let’s all try and love ourselves a bit more. You are all worthy in your own right. You deserve happiness like the best of them. Yes you will always see flaws but those are the characteristics that makes you, you. So embrace them. Learn to love them. And above all else know that you are wonderful.