Firstly I would like to say that I am a huge fan and have been with you since you first started on your journey.
My first every computer was this bad boy…
And since then I have been through all of these old school ones as well…
When you ventured into the new frontier of mobile phones, I too was right there. Now, I am a proud owner of the iPhone 6, after upgrading from the previous iPhone. So as you can see, your products have been with me throughout the decades. But now I am here to say that I have a few bones to pick with you Apple.
I’m sure you are very familiar with your slogan ‘Think Different’. The one that was introduced in 1997. It had a really great copy which was entitled “The Crazy Ones” that was used in your print ads along with snippets of it in your commercials. This spot was critically acclaimed and deserved every positive praise it got.
Here it is in all it’s glory:
“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy.
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
We make tools for these kinds of people.
While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
Now I know you stopped using this copy but it still gets to me. It represented a product that was different from all the rest. It represented the future, the dream of one day using a hoverboard to work kind of future. I now, however, don’t see myself as one of the “creative rebels”. Simply because everyone and their granny’s have an iPhone now. So what makes mine different from the next? How can I make mine, my own?
What I am trying to say is, why aren’t there options to change your screen and your icons? Why can’t I have Marvin the Martian shaped icons if I wanted to? Why aren’t there ways to make my iPhone a rebel? I now feel like a generic robotic ant in an Apple machine that’s blobbing along to your tune. I am a willing follower by the way. But can’t I follow yet be my own creative rebellious soul at the same time? I don’t feel different. I don’t even feel special while holding my iPhone. I want to be able to pimp out my software. I want my keyboard to change colours. I want a bubble to pop up on my screen when I have a new message in whatever app I may have open and be able to reply right then and there. I don’t want to swipe out of what I am doing to click on my messages and write a response that way. I want to programme my status bar so that when I swipe it to the left my Instagram app pops up, or swipe it to the right to make my whatsapp appear. Or double tap it in the centre and another of my favourite apps comes up.
Now I know you will probably poopoo this idea but have you considered incorporating some features that a jailbroken iPhone can do? I have seen people with a jailbroken phone and my god, the possibilities are endless. Why can’t you offer a subscription or maybe even an app store version and make it legit for goodness sake?! I would gladly pay for something like that. I want to customise the features and software on my iPhone so I can be a “Rebel” a “Crazy one” against the rest of the millions of people who have the same exact phone. Because at the end of the day I am a creative soul who wants my phone to be able to reflect my personality. I want it to be… different.
My next grip is on your camera. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have actually stopped using my Canon DSLR camera because your one is excellent… during the day. But in dark settings I regret not taking out the big guns. I am an avid “iPhoneographer” and I would like to be able to use your phone in any venue that I may be at. I don’t want to get depressed after going to a concert and all my pictures have turned out grainy. For example, when I went to an FKA Twigs concert recently. I tried every trick in the book. Yet I couldn’t get one shot that was even remotely decent. This is mind-boggling to me. Here we are in the 21st century, talking about a manned mission to Mars and I can’t get one decent shot in low-lighting conditions with your phone? There’s something wrong with this picture.
So I have a solution for this, which you will no doubt poopoo again. But here it goes. I think you should invest in creating your own camera. Yes, maybe this isn’t in your plans to rule the world but at least hear me out. Create a camera that can incorporate your much loved photography apps on it. We all know that there are competitions for the best iphoneography photos now. Which means the amount of people using your iPhone for breathtaking shots is astounding. So milk this market to the fullest.
Hipstamatic and VSCOcam just to name two, could be an on screen app in this new camera. I would pay big money for a camera (that can also record HD vids of course) that can also download an app such as hipstamatic where I can then shoot till my hearts content. Where low lighting situations would be a problem left in the past. Where the optical zoom will be so crisp and clean, no one will utter the words grainy and fuzzy in the same sentence as Apple ever again. Just think about all the possibilities Apple! Come on.
Instead of trying to one up the competition with a new iWatch, can’t you concentrate on making your products the best that they can be? Make your existing products untouchable. They once might have been but the race is quite close at the moment.
When the first ever iPhone came out it was amazing. I even remember when it was first announced at the Macworld conference and a giddy excited feeling came over me. I was convinced that I would finally become Jane Jetson, part of a futuristic Jestons family. The Apple/Jestons family. When you talked about apps, I and the rest of the population were like huh? But we went with it, saw your vision and fell in love with it. Apple, I need that ooohhh and aaahhh factor again in my life. I need that Back To The Future moment where I feel giddy like a school girl again. I’m tired of being a grey blob, bobbing around with all the other grey blobs.
I am a round peg that won’t fit in a square hole, a misfit, a rebel, a crazy one. Therefore, I think that it’s only fitting that I should be able to be a shiny sparkling multi-coloured apple amongst all the grey ones.
A girl who fell in love a very long time ago with a colourful little apple