It’s about time to add to my ‘Five Things’ posts. It’s where I choose a topic and write ‘Five Things’ about it in relation to me. Basically, for you guys to get to know me a little better. You can see my previous post, ‘Five Things That Always Get Me Into Trouble‘ if you want. No pressure though, if you really can’t be bothered then I will totally understand!
Ah, Men! What a huge topic in itself. Sometimes, I want to punch them in the balls, while other times, I can’t get enough of them. Each girl is different at the end of the day. So I figured this was a legitimate topic for you guys to get to know what makes me tick. In all areas of my life. Lucky you! Woop Woop! So here we go.
1. A man needs to have a great sense of humour. Stiff, top-buttoned men need not apply. Chances are, I will never go for the conventional Adonis-looking types. Sure they are great to look at, but they are either so full of themselves or are the biggest players known to man. Sorry Mr. Adonis if you’re reading this. Maybe you are the one exception. But somehow…I don’t think that’s the case. A humorous side however, makes men look more appealing than that of the Adonis’ out there. And who doesn’t want to laugh at the end of the day. If it were up to me, I would laugh all day long. I would not be mad if I got wrinkles through laughter. Crying on the other hand, I would be thoroughly pissed off!
2. He needs to be loyal. Now, I think this should be a given. But here I am, writing it down, losing out on a number of other great qualities all because some have forgotten what the word actually means. There are a lot of men out there that are claiming accident insurance after their penises magically slipped and fell into a number of vaginas. I am not saying women don’t cheat. They do as well. But this is what I find attractive in a man after all. And some of you men out there need an accident to your balls for doing a woman wrong by cheating on her. I have no remorse for you assholes. So if you are having thoughts about sleeping around with other women, then just do the manly thing and break up with the lady first. Treat her with some respect!
3. He needs to be able to talk, hold a conversation and express his feelings. After sex fades ( So hoping that doesn’t happen, but just in case you reach 100), you gotta know that your conversations are gonna hold you down for the long haul. Communicating is very important in my books. That and sex if I’m being completely honest. I need someone who I can talk to about anything. We should be able to work through any problem by talking it out. If you don’t have the patience to string some sentences together than may I suggest dating a woman who… nope I can’t even finish the sentence. Just stay single and have flings. Don’t trouble a real woman with your bullshit. Now, I know that some of you men think that ladies out there be talking a whole lot. But if you actually listened the first time round you will find that we only say something that’s worth saying. And if we aren’t being heard, then that’s when we will continue until we are blue in the face. So respond the first time round and take a mental note! Dang!
4. He needs to be a little spontaneous in the romance department. Dear god, if there’s one thing that I worry about it’s the complacency of a routine. Friday nights, missionary sex at 10pm. Oh Jesus, that would kill me. Things should be kept fresh when it comes to loving someone. If you go out on ‘date night’ then don’t do the same thing over and over again. Pick a different restaurant every time. Do a cooking class together. I don’t ever want to feel like I am just living every day in the same way with my partner. When the spontaneity dies, so does the relationship. You end up losing that spark that you once had in the beginning. And then it will be like living with a room mate instead. So if you really love someone, then take the time out to do something special every once in a while. It doesn’t have to break the bank. Just do something tiny that means something special.
5. And most important of all, he needs to not lie! I can’t stress this enough. I of course don’t mean when he tells a white lie of you looking cute when you are sick. No. In fact that’s when they should lie through their teeth! I am talking about the heavy duty lies. The lies that really would rock your world if you knew the truth. Lying about where he’s been, what the money is really going towards, girls on the side, living with his momma, being married, making more money than he does, gambling, drugs, says he doesn’t have children but does, or the many, many other lies that are whirling around out there in the Universe of Man. Just tell the damn truth for god sake! Be a proper GENTLEman!
There you have it, my ‘Five Things’. In truth, this could have been 10 things. But I suppose these are the most important ones to me.
What are your five things that attract you to someone? And do you stay true to your list or do you veer off course? I’m not going to lie. I have veered off the course a time or two in my life.