The sad thing is, up until recently, I think I would have chosen to sleep in and dream my grandiose dreams instead of getting up and chasing them. I would dream so much. It was as if I was hoping they would magically sprout into existence. I’m sure that’s probably the stupidest thing you’ve read today. But it’s true and I’m not going to lie about my idiotic ideas. I literally thought that if I envisioned my dreams, every day, they would appear in front of me as herald trumpets played in the distance. I am now pretty sure that ‘The Secret’ had something to do with all that wishing and envisioning. Damn that book (and documentary) for it’s persuasiveness!
As 2015 was about to rear it’s ugly head, I realised that I was not even close to where I wanted to be at this stage in my life. It’s kind of depressing thinking about it really. To know that all of your friends are pretty much well established, or have gotten engaged, or married, or have started their own families, really can get a girl going slightly senile. I mean, loony bin senile. In fact at one stage I was ready to accept the fact that I may be more comfortable surrounded by four padded walls, where the soothing notion of hearing ‘no visitors allowed’ melted over me with excitement. Who gets excited to chill by their lonesome all the time? That’s got to be slightly strange right? Just dreams and solitude? What a bunch of poop I was selling myself. The funny thing was that I always knew I wanted more than the average of lives. I wanted to explore, to accomplish and to topple the highest of ambitions. Yet here I was, living an average life. In fact I will go so far as to say that everything I was doing was far below average. I don’t know where this no motivation actually came from. I think I was just always stuck in my circumstances which in turn motivated me straight into complacency. It’s not a great feeling thinking that you can’t change things. Or that it’s virtually impossible to.
A week before 2015 showed up, something snapped. I knew that dreaming about having a great career now was not the answer. Sure it was an easy escape route to have. But it definitely wasn’t something that would see me getting the results that I longed for. My conclusion was that I needed to make things happen and not just accept ‘getting by’ as acceptable anymore. So I saved money (which was fucking hard especially with the peanuts that I’m getting paid) and started a copywriting course. I swear it’s the best thing I have ever done and I can’t help but smile every time I think about it. Slowly I am chasing something better. I am striving for more than average and because of this tiny push forward I finally see that things can change. It may take a while to get to where I’m going but at least I started chasing. Money will be super tight, but it’s not something new to me. I just need to adjust some things to pave the way for even better things. It’s actually that simple. I have no idea why I’ve convoluted everything for so many years. Well, I do know. I was never able to get the opportunity until now. This moment, right now for me, is my time to grab life by the balls and never let it go.
So I ask you, what’s your choice going to be?