Leggings Are Most Definitely, Not Pants!


Guys, we need to discuss a dilemma that doesn’t seem to be getting any better. In fact this problem is running rampant through the streets of the world and the women who are responsible for this outrageous atrocity are repeat offenders. I am talking about see-through leggings people! See-through fucking leggings…

I love me a good pair of leggings. What girl doesn’t? They are down right comfortable. In fact when I can’t be bothered with life I throw a pair of black leggings on with a black top and I’m good to go, walking around mourning the days that have past me by. Ok too melodramatic, I know. But leggings are great. And boy do I thank my lucky stars when I’m in food Hoover mode. You know those days where you are eating for the entire universe. On those days, while wearing my leggings, I feel a little less guilty inside and a little less fat. Reason being, they don’t cinch me at the waist as my stomach becomes that of the gluttonous man who died of overeating in the movie “Se7en”.

There is however, one very important rule to wearing them right. The top that you choose to go with them, must go past your va-jay-jay and ass. That’s it. That’s the only rule you have to abide by. How difficult is that? NOT AT ALL if you ask me! So why am I still seeing all these ladies walking around with see-through leggings, short tops AND undies with ice-cream cones and kittens on them that are also shoved up their ass-holes? It is not flattering, even if you do happen to be the fittest woman alive. Whoever thinks it’s acceptable to have a camel toe in the front and a bunched up mess in the back should be imprisoned for life in solitary confinement.

It’s simple ladies, when you go into a clothing store and your sole mission is to buy a pair of leggings, here’s what you have to do. Firstly, check if they’re see-through. Hold them up to the light and stretch them. Put your hand in one of the leg openings while you’re still holding it up to the light. If you can see your own flesh coloured hand clearly then with 100% certainty know that when you put those bad boys on, you will be showing off your bits along with your unpleasant underwear choice. Secondly, go for dark or bold colours. Do not… I repeat, DO NOT buy nude colour leggings. You will look naked from the waist down. And please know that all those car horns which will be blowing up a storm in your direction, won’t be to compliment you on your shapely ass-ets. No, they will be blowing that horn because from afar, you will be looking like a crazy naked whorebag.

Let’s all stop and think a little ladies. If we make a concious decision to “uncouple” ourselves from these horrible atrocities, the whole world would be a much better place. If it’s not meant to show your undies, then cover those cracks, front and back, up! Enough said…


2 thoughts on “Leggings Are Most Definitely, Not Pants!

  1. great post! Leggings are definitely a little tricky, since they are casual. I sort of felt like overall they weren’t appropriate in London compared to how proper people dress in general. Great tips too, a longer top definitely changes how they look and make them more appropriate.

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