It’s as simple as that…and yup, that’s all I’m going to say. It’s all about the quote today pandas!
So go create your own story where you are the leading character! Don’t let anyone else write the plot for you.
<3 <3 <3
Ah amour… Isn’t it grand. This one word has played host to a whole range of emotions ever since the very first thought and feeling formed in our Neanderthal cousins. They were the first of our species to live together and congregate in groups, so I can only assume it started then. Sometimes I’m sure you’ve wished that you never knew the word love and what it stands for, while other times you knew that life was not worth living without having it. Which is curious seeing as most of us are forgetting the details in it. We are rushing from relationship to fling, to hook up, back to a relationship whereupon losing the glorious subtleties in the slowness of a flickering flame. The beginning musings of two lovers has become a novelty act in a modern novel which will no doubt be picked up by a billion dollar movie company so it can be mass produced and distort our already skewed notions of the subject. They forget to tell the truth that sometimes love doesn’t work out. But the point of it, is to have been able to have experienced it. The touching of hands, the embrace leading up to a passionate kiss. The midnight conversations and the giggling of inside jokes. I know it’s an even better story if the “Boy gets the girl”, but what about what they went through after that?
I would just like to point out that I am not pooh-poohing on love. On the contrary I am a great romantic soppy being who has unfortunately shoved all the mushy hope of love deep down into the darkest recesses of my soul. But despite this blockage, I still yearn for it. I suppose ultimately I want to be proven wrong. I want more than anything, to experience falling in love again. But I want it to be done the right way. And I want a man to at least make the effort to go along for the ride. To be partners even if for a short moment in time. But living in a fast paced city along with failed relationships, I have started to lose faith. I have started to internalise that maybe the common denominator is me in all of this. That maybe I can’t compete with these Instagram famous beauties and tinder women ready to give it up in two seconds. I unfortunately have realised that I am an old soul. A soul that needs to feel some sort of way before I spread my legs to a potential suitor. I mean usually if the man lasts three dates, chances are he’s getting some. However, I want to be courted and wooed despite the fact that I am a strong, independent woman. I want to feel like I would be a great catch. And thus, when I feel like the burdens of love gets the best of me, I have a little trick that soothes my melancholic mood… I turn to Etta. That’s Etta James to the rest of you. Haha oh I’m just joshing! But seriously though… I think it’s best you call her Ms. James.
It’s no secret that I am one huge Etta James fan. Yes, sure, she was troubled and had hardships throughout her life. But, the woman harnessed those feelings to tell stories through song. And one has stuck with me and probably will stick with me, for the rest of my life….A Sunday Kind of Love.
When I was younger I never really got it. But as I grew up I realised that I too was longing for something such as the comfortability of what a ‘Sunday Love’ could bring. I tend to romanticise how things used to be back in the day. Which is also no secret by the way. I don’t really know why that is. I suppose it was the slow smooth pace of things. I would hear my parents and grandparents tell their stories of how they fell in love and my imagination then got the best of me. I truly believe I was born in the wrong era. Does anybody else feel that way too? I just really long for the simplicities at times.
To me a Sunday Kind of Love meant a love that would last past the dynamic intensity of the initial meeting. It meant longevity, stability, the easiness of a Sunday morning (Lionel Richie style).
Etta James’ raspy strong vocals caressed your ears and when she sang:
I felt it. I knew what she was talking about. I went through it and I too longed for something more from this life. It’s so easy to let a big city take you and friends who rush you and your job that pushes you and a family that rushes you some more, that you naturally forget that love was meant to be experienced and not dabbled in. It should be something that you immerse yourself in, in order to get the full effects. Why is that so hard nowadays. We are turning into robotic zombies. We meet people through apps, we judge them quickly in a photo and a few random text messages and bang that’s it. What happened to looking at someone from a distance, looking at all their features, watching how they laugh with their friends or how their eyes sparkle when they are engrossed in a passionate subject. A single photo would not be able to show you all these nuances. And it might be one of these nuances that attracts you to someone.
Therefore I too want a Sunday kind of love. I want someone who will be there for me. Someone who gets me and cherishes the time and memories that we have created together. I want laughter to consume us and happiness to guide us. I want an adventurer who will follow me to new destinations; and I will him. I want easiness, wholeness, trustworthiness, attentiveness and assuredness.
I don’t think it’s wrong to hold out for these things. And I also don’t think that I am asking for the moon. So therefore I will keep my steadfastness in tact thank you. Even if it’s turning out to be just me and Etta on this quest. But I sure as hell know, I will not settle just because I found someone with a penis. Oh no! I will get that Sunday Love even if it kills me. And when I do… “At Last” will be the next song that I will be blasting from Etta’s catalogue of awesomeness….
Being a strong woman in this day and age should be a mandatory requirement. And by this I don’t mean the actual literal term of the word. I am referring to the emotional and mental layering of it.
Ever since I was a little girl I grew up knowing that I was a woman in a man’s world. I knew that we were always seen as the “behind every man stands a great woman” kind of lady. We would subtly go unnoticed. We tended, cared, counselled, taught, loved, sacrificed, all in the effort to hopefully one day stand beside the man. But there were some of us that were ready to break that cycle. I’m talking about the single mothers out there. The women who are working three jobs and still taking classes to better educate themselves. The ones who are raising families while having a high powered career. The ones who are entrepreneurs and motivational speakers. The ones who struggle with postpartum depression, who suffer from an eating disorder and managed to come out the other side because of their sheer strength and determination. I am talking about women in the police force, the armed services, nurses, doctor, lawyers, CEO’s, teachers, and senators. All these women had the strength to do what they had to do to make this world a better place for the rest of us. They had the nerve to show us that we can step outside the box.
Women are beautiful inside and out. We come in all different shapes and sizes, with all kinds of personalities and backgrounds. But the most beautiful thing that’s been happening is the strength that is oozing out of us which can be accredited to the women that came before us. Our fore-mothers if you will. We are trying to sore to the highest of heights. And we’re doing all of this while teaching and showing the next generation that this world needs to be on an equal playing field.
Girls need to know that they can be so much more than just a sexy woman who will “service”, feed and eventually have children with a man. Throughout the decades we have pushed for strong, independent, career-driven women who don’t have to flaunt themselves around to get a higher position. That’s why it’s so important that little girls grow up with strong women around them. It’s important that they look to education as an all-star championship game and a career as an MVP trophy. Please let’s teach them to stop trying to find a man to pay for everything. Let’s teach them grace and confidence. Let’s show them how to acquire knowledge on their own and take care of themselves from the inside out. Please let’s talk to them about the importance of their self worth. About how men might take advantage of them. Let’s arm them with the best arsenal that we can so they can be well equipped if anything should come their way. And please, for the love of god, can we teach them that looks and beauty will fade so it is imperative that substance and quality should hold the highest regard. Let’s teach little girls to stop dressing up. Why is that just a girl thing anyway? Why can’t we teach little boys that it’s ok for them to do it too? And instead of body shaming other women, let’s embrace the fact that we are all different.
Just because my body was developed for a purpose other than f*cking millionaires doesn’t mean it’s masculine. I think it’s femininely badass as f*ck, because there’s not a single muscle on my body that isn’t for a purpose. Because I’m not a do-nothing bitch.” Ronda Rousey
Can I just say that Ms. Rousey is the bomb! She is one strong woman who doesn’t take shit from anyone. Hell yes Ronda! We do NOT want to be a do-nothing bitch! If we are going to look up to celebrities, let’s at least look up to the women who are going against the grain. Who are trying to teach us that there is more to this life than that of fame and money. Who are not taking two thousand selfies and calling it a day. Let’s look to the Sheryl Sandberg’s, the Oprah Winfrey’s and the Jada Pinkett Smith’s of this world.
And finally, can we please teach our young ones to stop putting other women down. We should be in this together. If another woman gets a top position in then compliment them. Don’t try and knock them down. Instead say, WE did it. Some of us can be super catty towards our fellow females. Let’s stop with all this. And can I just say, if a man is in between two women, ladies, stop trying to gouge out the eyes of the other women. The common denominator is the man!
With the help of the ladies that came before us, we will eventually know why it is so important for women to be strong and be able to stand on our own two feet. We will know, that even through the most terrifying of hardships, our strength that has already been instilled upon us will help guide us through to the other side.
So here’s to the women who know the meaning of strength. Here’s to the ones who never backed down. To the fighters, the dreamers, the doers and the rebels. You have paved the way for us all. In return, we will show you our admiration and support by guiding the next generation on how it’s supposed to be done. If, with every generation, we teach little girls the fundamentals, then surely we will see the day where women will inevitably become unstoppable.
Peace, Love and and Strong Women
I was going to do a weekend photo Journal post but then I made some brownies and I thought to myself, man, food makes you feel all kinds of awesome. So… why not write about it.
We are in the age of constantly watching what you eat. Diet and exercise, exercise and smoothies, smoothies and juicing, juicing and lots of water. It stems from trying to attain the best body out there in order to compete with the beautiful people over in La La Land. They grace our magazine covers, have been objectified in a sexy movie sequence and have even showed their healthy lifestyle through their social media page. Just once I would love to see the likes of Jennifer Lopez sharing an Instagram photo of her scarfing her face with a big stuff crust pizza as she cries about the man who has messed with her emotions. Just to be clear, she can do no wrong in my eyes, however it would be nice to know that us mere mortals are not alone. I mean who hasn’t been there with a big ol’ pizza all to yourself?! We are human after all, with a whole range of emotions. Yet our social media feeds show only happy occasions filled with lots of exercise and healthy eating. Sometimes, it would be nice to know that the celebrities we look up to, fly off the rails from time to time.
Food, great food, is everything at times. It gives you comfort in times of sorrow. It gives you joy when you are surrounded by your friends and family. It brings people together when they are on dates. It helps you out when life throws a curve ball. I mean, there is a reason why soul food is call SOUL food peeps. It truly does feed your soul. It’s almost as good as sex. I said almost okay?! Nothing beats orgasms. Can I get an amen to that!
So why are we such control freaks all the time on how we deal with food? I know that eating healthy is extremely important to sustaining a long and ailment-free life. But, being a control freak all the time is just down right wrong. We should be enjoying life. You already control your work, school, dates, married life, children, single life, how much you drink, how much you spend and so on. Why can’t you just eat what you want and compensate by exercising more?
I’ve tried to restrict myself when it comes to food. And for a time I was very successful at it. But, that was at a time where it was my sole focus. At that time, food was the only thing that I could control. So I put 300% into it. But now that I’m living in London, with a full time job, and all the stresses that I’ve been faced with lately, sometimes I just want to come home and bake a batch of brownies. In fact, I’ve found that there’s something so therapeutic about baking. It’s like all the stresses in the world simply melt away as you concentrate on the ingredients of the masterpiece that you are about to create. It’s soothing, cathartic and once done, sends a whole bunch of happy, feel-good hormones gushing throughout your system.
So… here’s to loving food. Obviously everything in moderation. I’m struggling with the moderation bit. However don’t deny yourself for months at a time. You will be one miserable person to yourself and the people closest to you. Go on, you deserve a little yumminess in your life. And furthermore, stop beating yourself up for not looking like those celebrities. They have a whole team and a crap shoot of money behind how they look. All you need to know is that you are an awesome individual who knows that having a little [insert scrumptious food preference here] is you enjoying life. Personally, I don’t know what could be better than eating the fattest juiciest Greek food while laughing with the people who are dearest to me.
Peace, Love and Enjoy Food
Here’s some Food quotes to make you go… YES! <3
What I’m about to show you has been viewed a little over 4.3 million times and keeps on rising steadily. The first time I saw it,was actually two nights ago when a friend posted it to her wall. And to be completely honest… I cried as if my heart was being brought back to life. It was the sweetest, most sincere, and most genuine video I have seen in a while. Get ready… Oh and crack out the tissues.
Tears came didn’t they? I know, I’m sorry. But it really was sweet wasn’t it? A beautiful moment between two lovers (probably high school sweethearts) who have been together for several decades. It’s something that doesn’t come by often. So when I see such things, a part of me (quite a huge chunk really) can’t help but feel sad. Why was I feeling sadness instead of happiness? Well, I think it’s because there’s a very good possibility that I might not ever get to experience a companionship like this.
With every generation that passes it would seem that we have gotten worse in the love department. I shudder to think what will happen to several generations down the line. I fear we will have robotic companions instead of human ones. We are already disposing of each other as quickly as we’ve found them. That’s why I’m sad. It’s a culmination of a few things which were delicately intertwined together to create this uneasy, heavy feeling in my heart.
Will I ever have an “our song” that I could sing with my partner? Will we be silly together and not have a care in the world on who watched our giddiness? And will I ever know a 6 decade kind of love? The answers to these questions are unknown. I truly have no clue. I wish I could be more certain and say it’s definitely in my cards to find the love of my life. A part of me thinks that maybe I already experienced love and that was all I was going to get.
When I look at the older generations it becomes more and more apparent that they had their heads and hearts in the right places. They were the go-getters. They strived for greatness in the face of adversary. They were the creators, visionaries, dreamers, rebels, activists and lovers. They built and we sat back and watched. They conquered and we basked in their spoils. They didn’t have the distractions of social media and the chaos of a modern world. And above all else they went after love and cherished it.
I look at this video and it reminds me that I have yet to feel an everlasting love. A love that I can think of fondly. An unconditional emotion that moves me to my very soul. My tears were sad yes, but I still hold on to hope. And maybe that’s all I need to keep going. Something happened as I let my heart open up while watching two human beings in love. An intimate moment that someone graciously shared with the world. That little window helped me start to heal my already hardened heart.
So here’s to the older generation. The ones who tell stories of a time that seemed precious and full of optimism. The ones that continue to show us how life should have been lived. The ones that loved deep until death do they part. I truly hope they rubbed off on more than just a handful of us. That way we can pass on their zest for love, life and pure happiness.
Peace, love and hope…
Pandas I don’t really need to linger around for this one. I just wanted to share it with you.
Just remember, you are worth more than you actually give yourselves credit for. It’s just sometimes we might need a little reminder. And sometimes we might lose our way slighly because we lack confidence. Which is probably because some idiot made you feel that way. And if that’s the case, send me their number and I’ll deal with them!
Don’t forget, you are and always will be, awesome! Now get out there and do your thing!
Peace, love and always be you
Oh the bane of having to be sociable. It has been my Achilles heal for as long as I can remember. Okay, fine, to be honest I’ve been a hardcore grumpy grump hermit for the last three and a half years. As I’m sure you’ve gathered, dating hasn’t really been on my social to-do list lately. It’s not that I haven’t tried, it’s just that I miss the old way of how people met. You know, in person. Where they could witness your great personality first hand. Instead of a couple of pictures and some texts through a dating app.
Dating apps are the new black, in case you didn’t know. People aren’t shying away from telling others how they met their significant other. They are signing up to dozens of apps all in the hopes that the next swipe will be the start of a blossoming relationship. I have about 3-4 different dating apps on my phone. Which I’ll have you know, are collecting techie dust. All of them are slightly different. But the overall concept is still the same. You set up a profile by picking some cute photoshoped selfies of you smiling and puckering up all seductively to the camera. After that’s done you piece together a bio that makes you sound so awesome it would even make the likes of Jared Leto bow down to your coolness. Then, you sit your ass down on your big ol’ comfy couch, while exerting the least amount of energy known to man as you extend your index finger into the swiping position. Bing, bang, boom, you have officially become a member of the social butterfly gang. All in the comfort of your own home.
So why am I yapping about dating apps? Well it’s to set the scene properly of course! Pandas, do you know what they are about to unleash to an already beguiled world? A dating app that uses your Netflix viewing history to pair you up with a fellow lover of the couch potato persuasion. May I introduce Netfling, and boy do I have some questions about it. But before I get going, I will say this. It is definitely the most unique approach in getting onto the dating app scene.
A fling implies a brief love encounter, doesn’t it? So my first question (ok second if we’re being sticklers) is, will this dating app be a hook-up helper? It’s practically encouraging a stranger to come over to “watch a movie”. That’s my code phrase for when I want a guy over for sex. “Oh, why don’t you come over to my place, I have the new [insert latest movie here]!” But he knows and I know that this is just a rouse. So, will there be a line drawn somewhere so people won’t assume you’re a loosey Lucy? What about those of us who aren’t looking for one night stands?
Next, I’m not entirely sure I would want to meet someone based on my taste of movies/TV history. Let’s be honest, sometimes you want to go home and watch ‘Finding Nemo’ without judgey wudgies all over the world condemning you to hell. Sometimes I watch shit reality TV because I like when I don’t have to think or analyse a scene to try and figure out where the movie is going. And let’s not forget those good old foreign movies. As much as I loved ( LOVED!!) ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’ I had to read the whole thing. Blah! It took a lot of brain power to read that fast. Those sexy Spaniards speak at super sonic speeds you know! Sometimes my choices don’t really reflect me as a person. It reflects a tired human being who wants to be brain dead for the next 3 hours. I don’t know about you, but I’m kinda apprehensive for people to know what I watch. It’s like my own little world where I escape to.
Okay, moving on. How will this app pair you off with your potential couch partner? I know it says it will do it through similar viewing history but I mean which movies/TV shows will it pair you with? For example, I like watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians (yes, I admit it) but I’m not so sure I want my potential mate watching it too. And once you’re partnered, will it show which shows you’ve got in common. Because if it’s Disney’s Beauty and The Beast then I don’t think I will stick around. I can just see it now. “Hey come over so we can sing ‘Beeee ouuurrrr guest, be our guest. Put our service to the test…’ together!” The funny thing is I know all the words. Major palm to face moment right here, right now.
Which brings me to the most important question of them all. Who in their right mind pays attention to a movie when you have a stranger over at your house? I definitely don’t pay attention even after I’ve went on a couple of dates with a person and I’ve started to feel comfortable with them. I mean isn’t watching a movie at home like the next step in a relationship? It’s where you snuggle up close to one another, eyes glazed over while your brain can only think about the close proximity situation that you’ve gotten yourself in. Then you snap out of it as you hear them laughing and realise you lost 10 minutes to a black out. No doubt envisioning his penis and praying he doesn’t have hairy balls like a monkey. Therefore I must say, being someone’s couch potato is NO joke. It’s a serious business. And I really want to know if this app can deliver what it says on the tin.
Either way, I truly am curious. And to be honest, I wouldn’t mind trying it out to see how it goes. If anything I am liking the fact that this app is not going down the superficial route of trying to hook you up with a suitor. I do like the fact that it’s movies because, well, I love movies! I used to work as a script supervisor on Indie films so trust me when I say, I love everything there is to love about the production world. But, unlike movies, I highly doubt this app will be able to deliver a teary-eyed gush fest of happily ever after perfection. Who knows, I have been wrong before. Therefore I will leave you with a little quote from the app’s marketing campaign…
If I only knew this 16 years ago. It would have saved me a whole lot of time and energy. To think, I could have just sat there like a bump on a log. Now, I can sit like one with a complete stranger. Things are totally looking up!
Oh I got too many jokes. Netfling, if you ever read this (which I highly doubt, but if you do…) I truly am just joshing around. Let me be one of your first beta testers! Seriously! I want to try something different because what’s out there now gives me no hope and a whole lot of the heebie jeebies. I commend you for doing something that’s against the grain. You go Netfling! Go on wit yo bad self!
Peace, Love and Netfling
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