It’s a Very Sad Day For Bubble Wrap….Prepare to Shed Some Tears

Bubble Wrap is not going to pop anymore

Pandas!! I just can’t! I have some horrible news. The bubble wrap that you have grown to love for all these years is about to get a makeover. Maybe some of you are thinking that I’ve lost it over bubble wrap. Quite possibly. Or you might be asking, why in the hell is she getting so bent up out of shape over this news?! WELL, this “new” bubble wrap (soon to be labelled iBubble) will cease to pop. That’s right! No more popping of the bubbles pandas. Oh the lunacy. I can’t bear the thought! A life without the sound of popping.

Before all of you judgy wudgies out there tear me a new one, I’ll have you know that bubble wrap is therapeutic. It’s amazing actually and it’s where I’ve spent many an hour popping away to a heart that was truly content. With every pop it somehow symbolised each problem that I had in life. I know a whole lot of problems! But it helped me get rid of some pent up anger. And with every pop the problems slowly disintegrated right before my very ears. It’s  damn near cathartic! And I don’t understand why Sealed Air Corp (the company that started our popping dreams in the 50’s) has the right to take away the simplest of pleasures in life. It’s like they are taking away my childhood past-time! Come on! What in the hell are we going to do now?

There will be no wrapping up your dogs…

bubble wrap
there will be no wrapping up of human beings…

bubble wrap man

You won’t be able to amuse children for hours.

bubble wrap for kids

How many of you had your parents throw you some bubble wrap and you went to town popping those bad boys. I mean the concentration that kids have while popping every single last one is insane! Parents, I plead to you all, you will be losing a very valuable aid.

I mean Christ, you won’t even be able to bubble wrap your horse if you wanted to…

bubble-wrap

And most importantly we won’t be able to wrap up Shaq any more… booo! :-(

shaq

And can I just say… what kind of name is iBubble anyway?! Is it the iPhone of bubble wraps? I mean does it come with its own GPS tracking system? Does it self-inflate? Does it have apps? I mean give me a break with all this “i” crap. Enough already!

This whole non-popping existence has thrown me for a loop. I’m officially pooh-poohing the no popping. And I certainly will not support this dull drabby diabolical demise of a pop-less world. I won’t even entertain the idea! How dare they. How bloody dare they ( said in a super slow swanky British accent)!

Okay rant over….

<3

bubble

The Hottest Day in London in Ten Years and All I Could Do Was Pray For A Tiny Kiddie Pool…All DAY…For The Past 9 Hours.

hottest day in London Heatwave

You see the above photo my pandas? It’s my photo that I edited. This is what I have been wishing for all day here in London. For the heavens to literally open up and cry out a storm. I have been begging for a kiddie pool to be magically delivered to my office. I have prayed for some sort of miracle all day but have I received said miracle, of course not. Why in god’s good unicorned care bears would he see fit to grant me with a kiddie pool. Even though I think it’s a perfectly good request.

It’s funny, I have lived in a country (Cyprus) that sometimes hits 42 degrees Celsius (107.6F) and that’s manageable. I think it’s because it’s a different kind of heat. Well, that and the fact that we have easy access to the sea. But in a huge city, the minute it gets to 35C (95F) like today mind you, you start forgetting your fucking name. It’s like the city swallows you whole and isn’t kind enough to spit you back out. It’s an unbearable heat where even Satan is like ‘Nah… I’m good down here..”.

Today I went from being uncomfortable, agitated, delirious, angry, tired and eventually lost the will to live. I am begging for my life to end right now in one fell swoop because this heat has taken a toll. The air-con is apparently working and yet all I feel is hot air. Surely it’s not safe to be working in this kind of heat without a proper air-con right?! It’s unjust. And as far as I’m concerned I’m working like a kid in a sweat shop. Yes, it IS that bad! It’s beyond insane. 

By now I’m sure you can tell I am not a fan of the heat if there’s no swimming pool, ocean, lake, or even a kiddie pool near by. 
Today I finally felt for the wicked witch who melted away. I felt for the snowmen of the world who melt to a non-existent mound of mush. Today, happened to be the longest day of my life. 

Okay rant over! 

❤️

Torn Between Two Countries… Greece and America

  
As some of you pandas may know, I’m a Greek American living in London, England. I hold my heritage very dear to my heart. I have never sided with one more than the other. It has always been right down the middle. The love for both has always been an eternally sweeping emotion. But today, I have been faced with two contradicting emotions, and it has saddened me greatly. 

From the one side I am very proud that America has finally legalised, through the Supreme Court, the right for gay marriage to be acknowledged nationwide. This is a huge deal. I mean it’s been a long and torturous road getting to this point. And I couldn’t have been more happier. Can I get a WOOP WOOP guys!?! 

But Greece? Where the hell do I begin with that one? This has been many years in the making. The world has been watching with bated breathe of the demise of a country that still holds onto, albeit very proudly, the notion that they were the founders of democracy. This proudness that the Greeks have possessed for all these years will be there ultimate judas. It has made them think that they have been untouchable. That “God” is by their side. That the people will still follow. That somehow they will come out victorious once again. How can I call myself a Greek when my country is imploding upton itself? How can I support when I don’t condone how they’ve carried themselves. It’s all too much to bear. This is the country that gave us Plato, Aristotle, the Olympics and democracy. Democracy has been the bedrock of the western modernised world. And yet this country is going to turn into a third world country. How is that understandable? It’s not. Somewhere along the lines we as Greeks have lost our way. We have elected individuals who have pirated and plundered our beautiful land and we are now left with uncertainty towards the future. I don’t know where Greece will end up. But it’s definitely not looking good. All I have is hope at the end of the day. Hope of what once was. 

If America can right the wrongs with one verdict then surely Greece can stop being so proud, accept what’s happened and try and right their wrongs as well. But how can they start if they are unwilling to even sit down and  listen to suggestions.

Today was a day that I felt torn between two countries. It was the day where I was so proud to be an American. But it was also a day where I was ashamed to be a Greek. 

Here’s to hope. For that alone will carry us through even the most tumultuous of times. 

Peace, love and hope…

❤️

Confessions of A Girl Who’s Missing Some Apricots… (and no that’s not a euphemism for me going insane)

stole my apricots

Here’s the thing my little fluffy pandas. There seems to be some bug going around where people are forgetting how to act properly. They are doing things that merit a hard baseball bat to the face. It’s appalling I tell ya. Simply appalling.

Yesterday I bought some apricots. Actually I think I should start by saying… I love apricots. They are one of my favs, well, that and peaches. Anyway, it was the start of the season so how could I not get some. I decided to leave them unopened in the netting that was wrapped around the plastic container until the next day; which happens to be today. Reason being, they weren’t ripe enough for my liking. So today I thought, dang! I’m gonna have me some yummy apricots for breakfast.  But no, why should I be so fortunate enough to receive some joy today, seeing as the gods saw fit to fuck with me.

As I walked into the kitchen I noticed something was amiss. Some mother lover thought it would be a good idea to rip open the net and shove his grubby paws all inside my apricot container. And then they took them. Not all of them but enough for me to get pissed. Here’s the thing guys, I am one of those greedy badasses when it comes to food (a bit like the hulk) but if someone asks me “can I have a bit of that (insert said food)?” Then I would always say yes. I always respond kindly to manners. Always!

To top it off this wasn’t the first time someone had taken my shit. There was a roll-gate incident a few months back. And I decided to do something about it. How you might ask? Why  by writing a witty, charming, humorous email to my colleagues of course. Boom!

I know this sounds stupid. But it’s the principle of the matter. I’m not buying food so that others can take some without even asking. I am getting paid in peanuts remember. Money is a rare commodity in my world. So I ask…Who the hell raised these barbarians anyway?! Because I’m pretty sure Satan is down there saying, “This wasn’t my work this time. I’ve got more important things to do on my apocalypse list this week.” So I said dang! I need to take action. My first email was cute, yet to the point. It was funny yet they knew I meant business. Take a look…

Dear cunning and sneaky Bread Bandit,
I bought some gluten free rolls yesterday. As you are well aware Gluten free is more expensive than normal bread and those rolls were to last me for my lunches this week. Last time I checked I did not win the lottery nor suddenly get a huge lump sum from a deceased relative that I have never heard of before. I understand that sharing is caring and I am all for that cause, if one would ask. So please Mr. Bread Bandit next time you get an uncontrollable urge to snatch some rolls that the studio does not buy, simply ask and you shall receive. I am wishing you all the glorious unlimited abundance of carb-topia delights that your tummy can stuff in there.
Kind Regards,
Ali
P.S.- don’t take this too seriously. I am just wanting to get the word out in a funny way.
Yes that is the exact letter, word for word. You see it wasn’t so bad. But then someone had to go and take my precious apricots and so I had to write another email again.

Dear Apricot stealer,

As I can recall, it all started on one fateful day when one of my rolls magically disappeared. So now on this sombre morning I have realised that you were not satiated that day. Why do you torment me with your grubby little hands? And furthermore I don’t truly understand why you are singling me out? Have I done something to offend thee?

As you are fully aware (from my previous emails) I am all for sharing, therefore all you have to do is ask. I do not make enough money to support your overeating habits. Please seek help in curbing your thievish ways.

Sincerely,

A very concerned human being who knows not to take without asking!

As if these emails weren’t enough, I then proceeded to waddle around asking my colleagues face to face… WHO THE FUCK TOOK MY APRICOTS?! And every single one of them said they did not touch my food stash. So I am none the wiser and a few food rations short.

Is this what society has come down to? Where a girl can’t even hang on to a few apricots before they get stripped away from her. Oh the insanity.

Shit, I mean, it’s looking like I’ve really gone cuckoo after re-reading this. But dang, all I ever wanted was for people to admit that they took it, say sorry and that they didn’t know. Surely that’s not too much to ask for. But to lie and not even have the balls to say oh sorry Ali, it was me? I mean who the fuck am I working with?! There is a wolf amongst the sheep and more cunning tactics will be put into place now. I ain’t taking no prisoners the next time. Oh no sir! I am going to be fucking Rambo.

Wooosssaaaahhhh…. okay, rant over.

Peace, Love and Apricots

<3

The Awesomeness That Is Bee Pollen

The benefits of Bee Pollen

Pandas, have I got some news for you. No it’s not that I got signed to sing with Beyonce. That would be awesome, but sadly that announcement will only be happening in my dreams. I’m here to discuss bee pollen! I’m sure there’s some sighs. But either way, hear me out. Come on!

I like trying new healthy things all the time. Just recently I discussed essential oils and Coconut oil therefore it’s only fitting that I talk about my new found love… Bee Pollen!

Bee Pollen happens to be one of nature’s superfoods. In fact it has been widely considered to be THE complete superfood. Meaning that it contains nearly all of the nutrients required to function by humans. It has about… wait for it… 22 amino acids, 18 vitamins, 25 minerals, 59 trace elements, 11 enzymes, 14 fatty acids, 11 carbohydrates and 25% proteins. Not to mention it’s extremely rich in carotenes and high in B complex vitamins. MEANING that it’s high in nutrients that other products of animal origins don’t possess. “For example, it contains more amino acids gram for gram than beef, eggs and cheese.”

This tiny little grain packs quite a punch doesn’t it! It is said to have wonderful benefits. Such as being an energy booster, soothes skin conditions such as eczema and psoriasis, and helps give your body all the nutrients that you might not be able to get in your daily food intake. You ain’t gonna get no nutrients out of a pizza, so put it down. And topping it with spinach doesn’t count.

Check out some of the other benefits…

Benefits of bee pollen

Phew that’s a lot! Typically you should be taking at least a teaspoon a day. Can you imagine, all it takes is one baby teaspoon and you will be reaping all the benefits of this magical grain.

Bee Pollen

I started using it about a month ago in freshly pressed juices. But I also use it in the morning on my cereal concoction. And can I just say that I am feeling pretty awesome. After my cereal I really am raring to go in the morning.

Cereal bee pollen healthy breakfast

Bee pollen, dried cranberries, organic oats, organic muesli, coconut flakes, and raisins with coconut milk. YUM!

So what on earth are you waiting for! Go get some immediately! One warning though, obviously if you are allergic to pollen then this is NOT for you. Please do not try even a little of it. I would not want you pollen suffering pandas to go into anaphylactic shock! Don’t feel bad pandas if you can’t. I promise I will find other things for you to try.

<3

Bee pollen

To All The Fathers Out There…

Happy Father's Day

Yup, you guessed it! That’s me up there with my Daddy. Yes I also said Daddy and furthermore I will probably say it for the rest of my life.

Today is the day that we get to celebrate all the Daddies out there. Woop Woop! Be Proud guys! You are doing a rocking job. We need to say a huge thank you to the men who have stepped up and became our rocks. Whether they were our biological fathers or not. I am referring to the men who have taken the time to be the father figure in the household. You are the one’s to which this day is all about.

Growing up, I was a Daddy’s little girl. He used to work all the time in Manhattan while our house was on Long Island. But he would always be there to tuck me in at night and tell me the stories of Odysseus. I’m Greek, remember? That and it was literally my favourite story of all time. It had everything in it. I would beg for him to tell me a piece of it every night until he finished the whole saga. And then I would ask for him to start it all over again. Saturday mornings however, were just for us two. I would go with him to the news-stand so he could buy 50 newspapers, no seriously, he reads all of them. He liked to get all the different views about what was happening in the world. While there, I would sneak some chiclets gum on top of his huge pile of papers. Then we would go to the park which had a pond. My dad would sit  on a bench to read his newspapers as I threw bread grenades at the duckies nearby. There were a lot of happy times when I was a child. But this was the memory that I remember the most. And I would not have traded it for anything else.

My dad showed me the meaning of family comes first. He taught me that we must always support our family even if it’s the crappiest jobs known to man. He never let us go hungry, always had a roof over our heads, protected us, clothed us, went to my school recitals, and taught me that if you work hard then anything is possible.

All I wanted to say, was that Dad, you have showed me what it feels like to love someone unconditionally. And I couldn’t have asked for anything more. Your support, even through my not so good decisions, never faltered for one second. You showed me to always look for the bright side of a situation, no matter how much pain we were harbouring at that moment. And above every, you taught me that I was worth something. I was worth the life that I was living. That I am ok just the way I am. And that I should never accept anyone into my life that did not treat me with the respect that I deserved.

Daddy, you are one awesome parent. Here’s to many more years of celebrations.

A huge round of applause to all the other Daddies out there. You guys have been just as awesome. Now, go forth, and spend some good quality time with your loved ones.

<3

Take Me Anywhere Else But Here…

Take me to Neverland

Please take me to a place where there’s no pain. Where there’s sunshine to quench my thirsty soul. Where life means a bit more than what we’ve experienced so far. Please let there be a place where smiles are abundant. Where love is truly unconditional and happiness is more than just a myth.

It was a very clever writer  who once wrote about a magical land called Neverland. Probably wishing to bring hope to the fellow sorrowful bunch. The ones that hold on to hope like it’s the holy grail of life itself. We all know the story…

To me it’s about the purity in children. How we can never really get back that innocence ever again. Simply because life happens. We grow up and forget the simplicity of things. We forget what it feels like to love something without jealousy. We forget to let go and just relax. We even forget what soothes our souls along the way.

Wouldn’t it be great to get back to a place where things were that simple again. It’s unfortunate to know that we are the ones who complicate things to the extreme. So much so that life, at times, feels quite unbearable.

Please don’t forget Neverland. It’s that place where you felt the most happiest. Home. A place where rainbows are in abundance. It soothes your worries and rights all wrongs.

Don’t forget to let go every once in a while. Don’t forget to smile at something embarrassing that you’ve done. Learn the greatest lesson of being absolutely truthful. Make new friends and let go of the old ones that do not have your best interest at heart. Do something that you love. Walk around the house naked. Sing (no matter how off key) at the top of your lungs. Scream when you get an ice cream. And laugh uncontrollably when life gets too hard.

Always remember how you were like as a kid. Remember the simpler times. Remember your truest self. Because as you know, that was your real self. No filters, no barriers, no worries and no embarrassment. Remember what it was like. Close your eyes and think back to that time. No doubt, once you’ve pushed away all those blockades you will remember how glorious of a time it was. The curiosity, the wonderment, the adventure and the journey.

Don’t forget to visit Neverland every once in a while. Trust me, it’s kinda therapeutic. Not to mention magical…

<3